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My parents were wonderful folks - pure, kind and generous. They gave inexhaustibly. Yes, they were cheated, taken advantage of by unscrupulous people, if you like. But, they didn’t let any hostility, any bitterness creep into their home. They didn’t overreact with us, didn’t overprotect us, didn’t bad mouth anybody, and didn’t fill us with fears. They continued being their beautiful natural selves and never stopped giving.
My dad continued helping people, sending money-orders he could barely afford. My mom continued brewing endless cups of coffee and cooking up hot meals for all and sundry. They never went broke, they never lacked for anything simply because they were so full of inner abundance. They could not store any of life’s painful leftovers because their spirit of giving streamed out so forcefully that even an itsy bitsy morsel would get washed out.
BE UPBEAT
That is the message I’d like to pass on to you. Fill yourself with kindness, tenderness, with good, gentle, generous thoughts, with love. Forgive those who have hurt you, robbed you, misguided you, taken you for granted, rejected you, insulted you, ignored you in the past. Forgive. Forgiveness opens doors to good health, peace, joy, lightness, blitheness. Being unforgiving breeds anger, depression, guilt, vengefulness, resentment, fear, regret, boredom. The body struggles and weakens in this bitterness to bring on asthma, ulcers, cancer, diabetes, eye and ear problems, high blood pressure and heart
10 WAYS TO BLESS YOURSELF
• Don’t think: “Why was she so mean to me yesterday?” Think: “In what way can I give today?”
• You can’t feel bad and simultaneously have good thoughts, can you? So, choose to have good thoughts.
• Celebrate good feelings — excitement, gratitude, love, joy, enthusiasm.
• Don’t bellyache about how bad a friend XYZ is, instead ask how you can be a good friend to yourself.
• Do good things, feel good every moment and you create not only a good present, you attract a good future as well.
• Imagine, feel that you are surrounded by love - you are.
• When plagued by the painful past, look at the beautiful in the present - an uplifting event, good colleagues, supportive siblings, music you love…
• Keep repeating every day, “Life is good. Life is great. All wonderful things are happening to me.” And don’t be surprised when 14 days later, the sun shines brighter; cheques pour in; and some redemption, some apology wafts in…
• Do visualization meditation - it generates new cells, synapses and neurons in the brain and gives you a fresh perspective on life.
• Sleep in the depth of a clear conscience; awaken in the joy of your renewed being; live in the vibrant fresh colours of a dream, soak your spirit in childlike fun. |
problems. Illnesses apart, when you let the past rule your present, you darken your naturally sweet, trusting perception and look at everything suspiciously, gloweringly, sadly, self-pityingly. It’s a stupid way to live. Forgiveness sets off a different vibration, a healing rhythm. You contribute to the positive up in the ups and downs of life. You put a stop to the stench of enmity hanging in the atmosphere by refusing to return hate with hate. I know it seems difficult to forgive at first, but once the softening process is on, a happiness, a sweetness, an immense relief steals in.
LET BYGONES BE BYGONES
The reality is: there are no leftovers! That awful event that happened yesterday is non-existent today. It is a phantom in your brain. It has no substance today. It is nothing - no-thing. You are breathing a whole lot of emotion into a dead no-thing and imagining it to be alive. You are committing yourself to an extinct past and complaining in the present when you should actually be committing yourself wholly to your present!
Do you see how you are wasting your precious present moments with no-things? Use your imagination for beautiful, substantial, joyous living things!
Master your imagination. Decide firmly, determinedly, masterfully to think and do delightful, substantial, non-phantom things today, every day! Be practical. Be dynamic. Understand that mooning, mourning, groaning over imagined past clutter paralyses. Break the spell of immobility. Leap into action every morning. Get the pranic energy, the adrenaline flowing. Walk briskly with the breeze, run into the wind. Feel the living blaze of the sun in your spirit, the dynamic surge of the earth in your bones, the flight of the clouds vibrating in your being. You’ll feel great, alive, all here, fully present.
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Simultaneously, will yourself strongly to change your thinking processes, habits, attitudes, behaviour to rid the monkeys of the past off your back. Be aware of your thoughts. Be attentive to them. Change from blaming others for your miserable hangdog thinking to a positive, vibrant “I’m in charge of my thoughts.” Be open to exploring ways to keep the mind full of clean, clear, positive, peaceful, joyful thoughts.
My experience of throwing off past pains and woes has been amazingly clear. I’ve found that material things do not help. You can’t eat away resentment. You can’t buy diamonds to salve old wounds. You can’t smoke to discharge your despair. You can’t change the way you feel inside with things from the outside. A sleeping pill can knock you out, but it can’t knock sense into you.
OUT DAMNED SPOT!
What you can do is put what’s inside of you out on paper. Write down 15 things that prick you, hurt you, depress you, anger you. Now, be really stern with yourself. Impose the seniority of your sensible self over your stupid self. Slash off each thing with stern, no-nonsense remarks:
• Don’t be foolish! This happened eons ago! Out!
• Why hold on to jealousy? It’s sick! Throw it out!
• I don’t have to keep apologising, I’ve done all I could. Quit acting “I’m a good person”. Stop being a humbug!
Most of these past incidents are petty, unimportant, a waste of time, no-things. Allow self-admiration to pour into you when you’ve done this slashing exercise. It’s nice to become positively self-aware and grow in your own eyes. You’ll find yourself making wiser choices, sharper choices. You’ll find that you are relying on yourself more and more, and respecting yourself more and more.
GIVE AND SHARE
Go one step farther. Think of yourself as a person who can never be negative. Act as if the choice to be negative doesn’t exist. If the past crowds in, pray your way out. Say over and over again, “I send a prayer to___ (the person who was involved in your past unhappiness.) I wish him/her well.” A blessing dissolves all negatitivity, all discords. The thing is, you’ve got to keep working on yourself. If you stop working, if you stop exploring, you’re dull, stagnant, full of resentment, even comatose. If you harbour leftovers, it means, there is not enough of a gush outpouring from you inside-out. You are not giving enough of yourself. In life, you have to continually give and share generously, expand, stretch, allow yourself to be inspired, forgive, read beautiful stuff, meditate, chant, exercise and decide to improve yourself every year. When you’re on a positive ascent, it’s much easier to let all those negative leftovers bump down out of sight, out of mind. It’s a beautiful feeling. When you let go, you declare your great faith in better things to come. And they do. They always do.
