Warning: include() [function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in E:\inetpub\vhosts\magtheweekly.com\httpdocs\12\relationships.php on line 95
Warning: include(http://www.magtheweekly.com/skymidpage.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in E:\inetpub\vhosts\magtheweekly.com\httpdocs\12\relationships.php on line 95
Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.magtheweekly.com/skymidpage.php' for inclusion (include_path='.;./includes;./pear') in E:\inetpub\vhosts\magtheweekly.com\httpdocs\12\relationships.php on line 95
“Why am I still single,” says the 33-year-old, Tahir Ali with an amused look, “I guess because I’m scared of responsibility… it’s an experience that I have no knowledge of. I know I’m good at my work and I can deliver, but I can’t say the same about marriage. Chances are it might be good but chances are also that it might backfire. In case it backfires, you’ve had it… and I don’t want that. I don’t want to be a flop.”
After a brief pause, as if in contemplation Tahir continues, “Of course I’d like to get married and settle down that goes without saying. At night when returning from work, I often notice some random house, with dim light escaping through the chinks of the curtains and for a wistful second the thought that a happily married couple might be sitting and discussing life flits through my mind. But the very next minute the thought that it might very well be an argument and not the romantic discourse that I’m imagining jolts me out of my reverie… and that’s the moment when I’m happy to be single as I cannot put up with the fighting part,” he concludes.
“Besides marriage is understanding… lifelong understanding. The excitement and novelty of getting married is over within two months, then starts the real journey. Marriage is not about your initial years but your old age basically; how you reach that stage is the best indicator of how successful or unsuccessful a marriage has been,” concludes Tahir giving us an insight into the minds of similar single, young men.
If you look around you will notice that men today are choosing to stay single rather than getting married; and not because they love their freedom but because they are scared of a bad marriage or ending up marrying the wrong person. At least that’s what a recent survey suggests. The study was made to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single - and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.
The survey involving 1500 heterosexual men showed that men were 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all.
It also found that about eight per cent of the respondents didn’t want to marry, 62 per cent wanted to marry, of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 per cent who are on the fence. Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children, compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.
When Honey Becomes Money!
Financial issues, both positive and negative, may also play a crucial role in men's fear of commitment. "Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Rehman. “While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them," he added.
Agreeing with that, Alam says, “Financial stability certainly makes it easier for a man to get into a relationship because you know that you’ll be able to take care of your partner.”
Does that also mean that men are afraid of taking responsibility or are not easily ready for commitment?
“It’s not necessarily the fear of commitment or responsibility. It is mainly because people develop insecurity and anxiety as to how things will shape up in the future. Moreover, owing to extreme work pressure and other commitments, these days it has become difficult for men to find enough time for their personal life,” says Tahir Ali.
Search For Perfection
Another factor that may be keeping men away from getting into a relationship is their search for perfection. High expectations are an important factor that makes men think twice before committing. “Everyone needs companionship. But at times, people’s expectations are rigid which acts as a hurdle in finding a partner,” says a Karachi-based psychiatrist.
When you're single, the world is your oyster. You can pick up and go anywhere you want, do anything you want, any time you want. No one is in the background nagging at you to do chores, go shopping, or "grow up.” You're absolutely free to hang out with your buddies, party until dawn and find plenty of time for your personal interests and hobbies. Best of all, you have the luxury of being all by yourself, if you feel like it. But beware of the time when loneliness sets in, as each one of us pines for company, someone to call our own, our flesh and blood at the end of the day.
So, if you are expecting your ‘special someone’ to be Miss Perfect or Miss Right, you’d better be prepared for a long, long wait. But if you are certain that your partner doesn’t mind your silly laugh, or doesn’t mind your time out with buddies then pop the question now before it’s too late!
Do You Really Want To Stay a Bachelor?