ou could have sworn that your Winehouse CD was on top of the rack. That you’d put your pen in your bag. That your favourite earrings were on the dresser. But of late, somehow, no matter how organized you are or how certain about where you left something, you can never find it. Familiar? Sure, you may be distracted, or careless, or just plain losing your mind. But don’t be so quick to blame yourself—or the maid. It may well turn out that a close pal or someone you trust completely is responsible. More importantly, the fact that kleptomania is so misunderstood is often why people don’t admit to it, even if they know they have a problem. That’s where you need to step in, to recognize, understand and eventually, lead a friend towards a cure for the disease.

Need-to-know 1
IT’S FAR MORE COMMON THAN YOU’D THINK
The accepted definition of kleptomania is “an irresponsible and obsessive compulsion to steal without any apparent economic motive”. According to clinical pyschologists, it is an impulse control disorder characterized by an urge to steal. The person becomes anxious, takes things on an impulse, feels relief right after the act and may have feelings of guilt later.
The thing to understand is that kleptomaniacs generally take objects that are useless to them—it’s not about the object but the act. Research has shown emotional loss and related stressors, poor parenting, depression and more, as causes. Interestingly, genetics also seem to have a role to play. Having a relative with the disorder, or a head injury, or suffering from mood disorders, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder makes one more vulnerable to this condition. But not everybody who steals on an impulse can be called a kleptomaniac. Psychologists have a list of criteria that has to be met before they brand someone a kleptomaniac.

Need-to-know 2
IT’S NOT THE SAME AS STEALING
Let’s admit it, we have all at some point in time flicked a piece of stationery from the office, or stopped at the highway to grab some mangoes from an orchard. Is that kleptomania? Not quite, we all do things that are usually not allowed, but those can’t be called kleptomania.
So how does one distinguish stealing from kleptomania? Basically, stealing is a very conscious, planned, and organised crime committed to gain monetarily or materially. Kleptomania, on the other hand, is an impulsive act conducted more for psychological fulfillment than anything else. The problem is compounded by the fact that wily thieves often use kleptomania as an excuse when caught out.
Nine times out of 10, you’ll find that kleptomaniacs lift trivial things that nobody seems to miss, at least not immediately. A classic example is the fact that there are a significant number of celeb afflictees—Winona Ryder made headlines across the world when her shoplifting came to light. Clearly, the financial value of the object a kleptomaniac picks up is often negligible compared to their financial status.

Need-to-know 3
IT CAN BE SOMEONE YOU KNOW VERY WELL
Before you set about trying to fix things, figure out whether what you’re seeing, in a friend or yourself, is in fact kleptomania. It’s critical to treat it like you do any other disease; accurate diagnosis is top priority. Kleptomania has often been observed to co-exist with obsessive compulsive disorder (like doing certain things repeatedly and feeling restless otherwise), mood disorders, eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia, and substance abuse problems. It also seems to affect women more than men. But kleptomaniacs often instinctually get very clever about hiding their disorder; therefore, it gets difficult to diagnose unless the person is caught stealing serially or she comes to seek help or counseling for a related disorder.
A basic tool of diagnosis is alertness. Kleptomaniacs may operate in a range of ways; they may shoplift, or pick up things from someone’s house, or dip into a friend’s handbag. At a certain level, they feel secure in the thought that they wouldn’t be dubted or suspected, precisely because there’s no financial motivator. Also, the insignificance of the object stolen means it may never come to light. However, a few incidents is all it takes to put two and two together. If a friend behaves oddly around you, or starts to display a furtive manner when you enter or leave a room, be a little more aware. When out shopping together, keep an unobtrusive eye on them.
Once you are fairly certain that the friend concerned is indeed suffering from kleptomania, figure out a POA. Confronting the patient is obviously the hardest part and should ideally be done by someone very close to the person. One has to have a strong, healthy relationship with the patient in order to break the news. Else, the relationship is bound to turn sour. Ideally a parent, spouse or close friend should play this role. Most people who suffer
from this disorder know they are unwell, but the risk of being misunderstood keeps them living secret lives.

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IT’S NOT COMPLETELY CURABLE
The bad news, there’s no definite medication or healing process for this disorder. The good news is that most cases of kleptomania can be cured to a large extent. A therapist may decide on a course of therapy coupled with certain medication to treat the disorder or alleviate it as much as possible. According to doctors, the treatment is a long process and may take months of counseling. A psychotherapist may also try a range of treatments before finally settling on one course of action, dictated by the patient’s response to it.
The most common treatment is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy that includes Aversion Therapy wherein the idea is to create a distraction when one gets the impulse to steal by doing something like holding your breath, pinching yourself, or counting to 10 until the impulse wanes. This therapy also involves processes known as Systematic Desensitisation and Covert Desensitisation. In the former, the patient is made to relax and imagine a scenario where they overcome the urge to steal. In the latter, he or she is made to imagine negative repercussions of the act like being caught red-handed, arrested, or embarrassment.
Other than that, a doctor may try to minimize the problem through Behaviour Modification, Exposure & Response Prevention and Relaxation Techniques. Plainly put, Behaviour Modification, the therapist tries to reinforce desired or appropriate behaviour and ignore undesired conduct. Exposure & Response Prevention entails exposure to something that makes one want to steal but refraining from doing so. As the term suggests, Relaxation Techniques involve redirecting one’s attention to something soothing like imagining a meadow and focusing on its sights, sounds, and smells. As far as medication is concerned, antidepressants are normally prescribed to help the patient relax. Interestingly, the disorder is often linked with abnormalities in levels of serotonin, a chemical in the brain that governs our moods, thus medication may make a difference. Hypnosis is another line of treatment that helps especially when the patient is in denial about the problem. An advantage of using hypnosis is that those using kleptomania as a cover for stealing can be exposed.

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YOU CAN HELP MAKE IT BETTER
Pritika and Devyani were neighbours and friends who trusted each other completely. They would often have their home keys with each other if one or the other were stepping out and family members didn’t have a set of keys. A couple of times, Pritika noticed minor things missing from her home but put it down to her carelessness; eventually, she found she was missing a piece of jewellery, but still didn’t suspect Devyani. It was well over a year later that she accidentally spotted the jewellery among Devyani’s possessions- Devyani apologized profusely and returned the jewellery immediately but as expected, their relationship was never the same. That, unfortunately, is exactly where the problem lay. In a case like this, even though the patient may have apologized and returned the object, the social stigma remains. It’s not easy to face up to something like kleptomania. Friends and family must understand that the person does not plot and plan to pick up objects. They do it on the spur of the moment to derive gratification rather than anything else. So, be gentle in your manner, but firm in your requirement that they get treatment. As a friend or partner, you need to do the hand-holding, and lead the person in the right direction—that of help.n