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Mind Your Manners
by AYSHA MANAHIL
On Saturday afternoon I was out with my father to get a few things done, including getting my spectacles from the optician and then getting dropped off at the office. During monsoon rains, traffic jams are  inevitable, hence on my way we got stuck in traffic, while waiting to move and get to the destination, a boy passing by, was shredding some paper into pieces and in just a matter of seconds he threw those pieces on our windscreen. To my astonishment he was not ashamed of what he had done. The contortion on the boy's face, who looked hardly 12 years old, was such that he was proud and enjoyed the misconduct. Is this what we have been taught or rather teaching our youngsters? Even if we intend to entertain ourselves, is this act good enough to do it for the purpose of amusement? Have the manners and courtesy faded with time?
With increasing chaos in the city, it is difficult to travel as pedestrians therefore street crimes have reached unfathomable heights. There's no denying that no one is safe from these savages and scoundrels whose only means of livelihood is looting innocent citizens and grabbing their hard-earned possessions or just teasing people around, specially harassing girls for their own recreation.
I had always thought that the media created anxiety and frenzy among people by repetitively airing news about the elevating rate of crimes, but only when such an incident happened to my friend who studies in University of Karachi, a gang of boys on bikes patrolling around her, I realised that blaming the media for blowing things out of proportion was wrong.
With a rapidly escalating number of robberies and street crimes, Karachi has become a haunted house as we all live amidst the lingering fear of being robbed of our life and possessions including a very primary necessity being the cell phone which even the poorest of citizens carry these days.
Since the day my friend told me about her incident every single stranger that I pass by is my suspect and I am now more security conscious than ever before. I still cannot digest the fact that the place, where the incident took place is an institution. Although a few people had noticed what had happened, nobody even bothered to ask her if she was alright or confront the miscreants on her behalf, not even the security guards who carried arms, with the permit to take action and use them in required cases. Unfortunately manners and courtesy in our society have faded into thin air, particularly in our beloved city  Karachi, formerly known as the city of lights but currently categorised as the city of fright. Every kind of street crime exists here, and some immoral acts are not even considered crimes anymore, like throwing litter down on some person, throwing litter on some one's car or rather putting a scratch intentionally, just for fun.
Apart from robbing somebody personally, public property is also stolen, for example the lids of gutter drains that can cause accidents and wall chalking for commercial purposes, political publicity or even recreation. There is absolutely no regard for each other in today's world. Moreover, using abusive language is a crime which has now been disregarded from its own tributary. No wonder abusive language has become a total way of expressing the emotions. The decay of manners has not happened overnight rather it has taken time to become noticeable but the real virus contaminating the society is still undiscovered. We learn manners first from our home and then our school but are both these places lacking in giving us sufficient lessons on manners and respect?
Furthermore, talking about criminals one cannot forget that those encountering them are people, who in a state of panic, try to save one's own life rather than risking it, accept the fact that what's gone will not come back and move on being more conscious. But then there are others who in self defense can lead on a quarrel and get involved into a vendetta leaving the accused in a seriously wounded condition, here the question arises who should we blame, the criminal, the victim acting in self-defense or the people given the task to prevent these situations from happening. Probably we all will have a consensus in answering that. But all these crimes and mischief have eliminated the basic element of trust from our society, also the ability to judge people from the appearance, therefore from now onwards when I see a young man or rather a young innocent boy with the same doubtful gazes, I fear he night have the intention to harm or rob me.
None of us can recognise a poor man in the middle of a deserted place who is actually in trouble and needs help, all because we cannot trust him enough to provide any kind of assistance. There have been many episodes when somebody knocked on a door just to ask for a glass of water but these accounts ended up as great catastrophes, where the resident of the house was brutally killed and robbed to every inch. It is paranoia that is causing the death of kindness. We should think over all the flaws in ourselves and try to improve them. Individually we may not be able to fight the problems facing our society but we can definitely fight ignorance to be more courteous and well mannered.
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Your Views
Manners have not faded yet but now trends have changed. People are still courteous but in this age they do not have time for others. Now folks are bold, blunt and straightforward. It does not mean that they are rude, we can still observe the mannerism and courteousness in our lifestyles. Munazza Naz, Mianwali
Yeah, I do agree that it's not just our children but also our leaders who have lost their manners and courtesy. Nony, Karachi
I think in today's life, manners and courtesy have faded with time. Some of us do not care about others' feelings. What they want or what they need from us? And this is the biggest flaw in Pakistanis and that is why we are behind others. We can't talk with courtesy because none have the patience or wouldn't accept the reality. Haseena Baloch, Karachi
I think that you are right but not completely, some people maintain themselves always and amend themselves so that they appear well-mannered and courteous. Sahar Syed, Lahore
Nowadays we are neglecting our culture and religion; if we follow our religion we can definitely find every solution for our problems, even how to spend our life with manners and courtesy. Nowadays people are very short tempered and don't have tolerance. It's high time we amended our behaviours. Nazia Baloch, Karachi
In my view mannerisms have faded because of our bad environment, therefore it is important to surround ourselves with good-mannered individuals. Our parents always teach us good manners but the impact of our surroundings make us behave otherwise. Haider Sayani, Karachi
I think we lack patience, it is important to be patient. It is said that patience is virtue, and it indeed is. Only this character trait can make an individual well-mannered and courteous. Jamil, Hyderabad
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