It’s your birthday but no one can say you’re the birthday girl. You’re not in your element, in fact, far from it. Instead of being all excited as in a few minutes it will be the D day, you are nervously glancing at the ticking away of the clock biting your nails in consternation. Wait a minute! Could it be your 30th birthday? Right on, and so you enter a new era of your life. You will no longer be called a twenty-something… as you are about to hit 30.
It’s at this stage that most women in our society act peculiarly for this is the time when you first notice the grey in your hair. Oh, my gosh! There’s something alien in my hair, it’s grey in colour and wavy in texture and it certainly cannot be me!
But try as you might, there’s no denying the fact that this beautiful thirty-year-old with a touch of grey is definitely you. It’s around this time that women start picking not just at their greys but also their career, health and relationships in general all triggered by an unknown fear.
WORRIES REGARDING YOUR CAREER Touching 30 may lead you to run and find a security blanket to keep up with that high-paying job. Most women look at 30 as their deadline to achieve their career goals and hence fear that all experimentation has to stop by then. Also, most women set it as a deadline to have a baby, making it imperative to establish themselves before taking a well-deserved maternity break.
Sanam Haseeb, a 28-year-old psychiatrist is single at the moment but she is clear that she can only use the next two years to establish herself in the industry before she starts her own family. She explains, “It’s an accepted fact that today’s modern woman is super-confident, independent and ambitious and wants to realise her full potential - I am no different. Yet, despite changing times, the instinct of settling down, desiring stability, harmony and nurturing a family are something that cannot be taken away from me. For me, 30 is therefore a benchmark biologically, psychologically and socially to achieve my career aspirations to a large extent so that I can have a better work-life balance thereon.”
REALITY
More companies today are working flexi-time, encouraging Friday dressing and granting maternity leaves. In an environment as unrestricted as this, does 30 become a hindrance, we question. Saleha Hani, a senior HR officer with a leading media house gives the real picture, “When we hire, we definitely look at age. The benefit of 30 or the early 30s is that the potential employee is not a rookie - he or she already comes with certain expertise on handling work load and dealing with everyday office situations. At the same time, we have noticed that employees at this age are typically open to taking on new projects and hence, we are not afraid of complacency. But it is true that we have to look at additional criteria when it comes to hiring women. When we call in anyone who is over 29 for an interview, we make sure to check the marital as well as family status, number of children, etc. Some women come in with family as a priority and cannot do justice to the job at hand but at the same time there are many women with a family who are more career-oriented and their priorities are different. We welcome such people.”
It is clear then that if you are focussed and have outlined a career objective, touching 30 is not going to be the end of experimentation, job switching or changing work profiles. If at all, with the number of years as experience behind you and unlimited opportunities in the future, your age might make you an ideal candidate.
FROM HEALTH POINT OF VIEW
While your body does change after 30, there isn’t as much to worry about as you’d imagined. “Women in their 30s are gearing up to reach the top of their careers,” says Dr. Zeenat Rana, an Obstetrician and Gynaecologist. “And many of them make a decision to become mothers a little later than was the norm.”
She assures us that this, while being a little harder than having a baby in one’s 20s, is far from impossible. “With the availability of superior technology and fertility drugs, women can put their fears regarding conception to rest.”
“Before 30, you probably live frivolously, without a care in the world. At 30, you suddenly realise you’re soon going to be middle aged. At this juncture, you might want to recharge your life goals to something which will be more commensurate with your basic philosophy of life.” |
Another key area of worry concerns the skin - fine lines start making more frequent occurrences as do uneven skin tone, pigmentation, scaly and dry skin. Dr. Kausar Baig, Cosmetic Dermatologist explains, “You may find your hands and feet changing with wrinkles appearing faster than ever.” She further warns us against the dangers of excessive washing with soap and water. “It is imperative to moisturise your hands,” she adds.
SOLUTION
Dr. Zeenat provides an optimistic take on things, “Your 30s are nothing to worry about - it is a time to concentrate on your career and work hard.” She does advocate that you exercise, get plenty of rest and have a balanced diet.
Dr. Kausar agrees, “Coloured fruits such as plums, strawberries and oranges provide antioxidants, fight free radicals and help preserve collagen.” Smokers and coffee addicts beware, for nicotine and caffeine can do the skin a lot of harm. “Choose cleansers and face washes with a good PH balance and don’t step out without a sunscreen,” Dr. Kausar urges.
HOW TO HANDLE RELATIONSHIPS
The 30th birthday is often the wake-up call - a time to take stock of relationships. Dr. Ruby, a Consulting Psychologist states, “Before 30, you probably live frivolously, without a care in the world. At 30, you suddenly realise you’re soon going to be middle aged. At this juncture, you might want to recharge your life goals to something which will be more commensurate with your basic philosophy of life.”
Single and unattached women find themselves facing the fear of not finding the right partner, a thought mirrored by the male-centric society. Surely this situation warrants some fear. Dr. Ruby says, “I wouldn’t generalise about anxiety. Of course, a woman might be uncertain about who she will marry and how life after marriage would be. This partly stems from the fact that a woman is expected to make the majority of adjustments after marriage. The ticking biological clock also presents itself as a force to reckon with. Even then, it could be healthy concern and not necessarily a debilitating fear.”
Hitting the third decade also sees women moving on from the ‘friends circle’. Dr. Ruby opines, “It isn’t a conscious breaking away. By age 30, most women have settled in their careers. One may have ‘outgrown’ buddies because priorities in life have changed.” Some women also discover a renewed connection with parents, realising their mortality. According to her, this is more due to analysing the importance of family and other key aspects of life.
So ladies, if you are on the threshold of 30, it’s best to maintain your calm. Ageing is inevitable so why not enjoy the experience it heralds. Says Hollywood star Uma Thurman, “Oh, come on. I look my age, and I don’t mind. Being in my late 30s is fine with me. Everyone looks their age - some just look a little bit more fancy.” When a star can think like that why can’t we?n
