Haven't you ever felt the desire to cry out No! when somebody starts pestering you? Or perhaps your kids are nagging you or the hubby is insistent you do something for him before you can relax? Yes, yes, yes, is what my female friends have told me unanimously. "Just yesterday my husband wanted me to iron his clothes for a dinner party before I sat down for a quite hour… it was so frustrating. I really wanted to say no, please iron it yourself but I just couldn't," wails my cousin Shumaila. While my friend Ninny says, "There are numerous times when my son 
pesters me to take him to the park as soon as I get home from work. Though I want to tell him to keep it for another day, I just cannot say No to him." These are just a couple of instances of how demanding life can be for women. What most of us do is hang around and get used to things. But is this really all that you want from life?
Agreed, that you are caught up in the routine of living and your hours are divided and devoted to dutiful activities. But don't you feel there are times when you feel mentally gagged? You want to kick the office chair violently when no one is looking. Or, reaching home in the evening you really want to loose your temper for no reason, but somehow smother such alien behaviour. At times like these, you manage to keep your calm all right, but fail to recognise the culprit.
It's your pent-up pressure. Pressure to perfect the routine and do it all to everyone's satisfaction. Such nagging pressure drains away your vitality on a daily basis. If you take away eight hours of sleep, you want to live the remaining 16 hours with a smile and a song on your lips.
But, before you know it, usually you find that your 16 precious hours tick away leaving you with empty minutes. Hours that could have given you so much laughter, learning and peace, at the end of the day only leave you feeling like a squeezed lemon.
Then it happens. One fine morning, before you get up from bed, you see routine staring at you again with a mocking smile. You close your eyes and say: "O heavens! Give me a break!" Realisation dawns on you, that you have had enough and its time to say 'no'. Be it home, office, relationships, friends or studies-despite their incessant demands on your time, you want to say yes to creating a peaceful space for yourself.
This is where you could make a checklist. This checklist would constitute a list of items required, things to be done, or points to be considered in your daily journey towards living a fruitful life. You could think of many engaging points to grace such a list. But, there are a few immediate ones that need your undivided attention. Here are twelve reasons to take a break.
1. Get a Grip on Your Cellphone:
Nobody can deny the utility of a cellphone. It is an inseparable part of your life. In those moments when you can't think of anything to do, you dial a friend and hear the voice that brings a smile to your lips. You even spend your lifetime exchanging a number of text messages daily or play games on it -- which is fine. But remember, you want to steal precious moments for yourself from your busy routine. If you can start by saying 'no' to unimportant calls and messages, you can save time. Refuse to call back unknown missed calls, sometimes even ignore known missed calls, politely say: "I am busy" to telemarketers and disconnect, delete marketing SMS without reading them and reply to known SMS senders only if you need to.
2. Take Time Out From TV:
TV is infotainment. A delectable mix of information and entertainment pouring out of umpteen irresistibles make the lure of TV immense. Movies, songs, serials, cricket and breaking news grab your attention.
But, have you ever thought what an excess of TV viewing does to communication in the family? It muffles conversation and refuses to give it importance over itself. At times, when you might want to share the highs and lows of your day with the family, you find their attention wandering to a TV programme. You feel ignored, but then you too join in and forget the slight. If you could say 'no' and cut down on your TV hours, you would be blessed with more time to socialise, read, do new things and even take that healthy walk doctors keep advising.
3. Spare Those Books:
This does not mean that you lay off studies. Your parents, relatives, friends and teachers know that you are a topper --if not a topper, then at least a bright student. Be it board exams or class tests, you are not unnerved as much as your classmates. But what about your friends who call you a bookworm? They ignore you when they indulge in fun activities like watching films and mall-hopping. You too get this feeling that you are missing out on something. Maybe you need to be bolder and say 'no' to studies also sometimes. You can then step out of your home and mingle with friends and people you like. Your mind would open to engaging sights and sounds and your personality would shine brighter.
4. Energise The Homemaker:
Being a good homemaker is a challenge that tests you in many ways. Office affairs apart, managing finance, running the kitchen, caring for children and elders at home -- all these activities demand focus. Nevertheless, such responsibilities do weigh you down and sap your energy. Taking time out for yourself sounds unthinkable. But the point is, if you don't do so, then how do you rejuvenate and recharge yourself for tomorrow? You ensure that your cellphone battery remains charged before you step put of house, but what about your mental battery? Maybe you need to say 'no' to unimportant home and office tasks and schedule required ones in a manner that you are left with some spare time too. You can indulge yourself, have some harmless fun and break into your favourite songs in such carefree moments.
5. Look Beyond Home Cooking:
It's great to have home food. The tried and tested dishes do make sense daily. You don't even think of taking a bite outside home for lunch or dinner. But then, one fine afternoon or evening you surf through TV channels and come across a cookery show. The chef has made a delicious preparation and the ingredients too did not sound complex. In the same show there are also some shots of people eating out and enjoying themselves. Your mind begins to wander. Why not say 'no' to home cooked food buy an easy-to understand cook book and try out new dishes regularly. For starters, every two weeks, you could either have a new dish at home or eat out. This would add some extra spice and flavour to your kitchen affairs.
6. Yearn For Job Satisfaction:
Inspirational writer Richard Bach says: "The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work." The irony is that, a majority of people with jobs have to get something done, so it is work for them. You may not like your job or the work that you do for a living, but it pays your bills. Yet, that yearning for something better pricks you often. There even comes a time when whatever little enthusiasm you had for your job dies down. Perhaps, the time is right to think deeply and say 'no' to your present job. Options are always open. Apply to a different place and discuss with people who matter to you. Look around for avenues where your talent would be valued. Sooner than you think, doors will open and you will be led to job satisfaction.
7. Stray Away From Love:
You need it right. The word is stray not 'stay'. Relax, you are not reading something written by a pathetic member of the moral police. Love rules and love's always in the air on February 14. Nevertheless, sometimes it does happen that either the wife or husband feels suffocated by the cloying affections of the other. During such moments, it could be a good idea to say 'no' to the partner. One could stray away from the relationship temporarily into other mind-occupying activities. With time, respect for each other's individual space could grow and a mature relationship could prosper.
8. Stay Out of Network:
You are popular and have an enviable network of friends. This shows that you have a magnetic personality. Your friends clamour for your attention and take pride in their friendship with you. Time flies in their company and you fail to realise the pressure building on you. What about the unfinished tasks in office and at home that were sacrificed at the altar of your friendship network? What about your parents and siblings who feel neglected by you? Perhaps, you need to consider a 'no' at times to repeated calls from friends. You could then gift your time to elders and parents and get their blessings in return. Your brothers and sisters, including cousins, would cherish the time you spend with them.
9. Yelling Doesn't Serve:
A house without a servant can often bring on a spate of shudders in a homemaker. The importance of service that comes in the garb of a good servant is hardly debatable. The lady of a well-to-do household depends on her servants for efficiency in kitchen affairs and maintaining cleanliness in the house. Remember the times when you have had to tackle household chores on your own when the servant failed to turn up? She got a real tongue-lashing from you when she did come the next day or a few days later. Often, your servant has got a mouthful from you for cooking errors too, which could have been overlooked. You could consider a 'no' to such behaviour on your part sometimes. This way you would still have your precious servant who might be thinking of leaving and your blood pressure too would be normal.
10. Pink Tea Anyone?
American president Abraham Lincoln once commented: If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." Like you, he too favoured a good cup of tea or coffee. Be it morning tea/coffee, your first tea/coffee in office or the evening cup at home, you know the kind of tea/coffee that you are going to sip. You have been having it daily without a break. How about saying 'no' to your regular sips and going in for some new flavours and aromas a few times? Why not check out that hip hangout in your city that may have a chai bar? There, you will get a variety of tea that would invigorate your senses. Different coffee flavours are easier to savour in the nearest shopping mall.
11. Ignore The Newspaper:
You must have raised your eyebrows at this suggestion. Newspapers have become as much a morning ritual as brushing our teeth. Many people would feel lost if they have their morning cup of tea without a newspaper in hand. But you know the kind of news there is in the daily newspapers, don't you? Headlines of various forms of crime, political ups and downs and other forms of negativity scream at you for attention. You read them and grumble about the state of affairs. Do you wish to start your day with such thoughts in mind? Perhaps, it's time to say 'no' to the morning newspaper and ignore it for a few days in a month. With the time you save, you could read something motivational and even list out important tasks for the day. This would make you more efficient and organised.
12. Take A Tour:
Greek philosopher Plato has said: "This city is what it is because our citizens are what they are." If you are feeling cheerful, you find that you are at peace with your surroundings too. But, over a period of time, it could happen that you start getting depressed with the monotony of workload. The city too begins to suffocate. It could then be just the right time to say 'no' to living in mental disarray. You could look at your bank balance, apply for leave from office and take a one or two week trip to some place you like. On returning you would be refreshed and look at the city with new eyes. Well-known Danish fairy-tale writer Hans Christian Anderson had said: "Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
Here's wishing all of these and more for you.
