Youngsters can sometimes go into overdrive when it comes to asking questions. The incessant ‘why’ can easily jangle anyone’s nerves. However most experts believe it is important to encourage children to ask questions. Children are naturally curious so the answers they get help them gain an appropriate perception of what is happening around them, a natural consequence of which is the ability to make the right decisions.
Psychologists agree that the ability to make decision is a skill that can be taught and the child should be encouraged to accept responsibility for the consequences of his or her decisions.
A simple way to teach your child is to follow a seven–step method:
• Talk to your child and make him realize why a decision has to be made and that he alone has to make it. The problem should be stated clearly.
• He should be aware of the consequences of his choice and how it will affect him and those around him.
• A definite time frame to take the decision should be spelt out.
• He must be aware of what will happen if he does not make a decision. After all, not taking a decision is also a decision in itself!
• You should clearly explain to him the prejudices that might influence his choices.
• You should explain the importance of making decisions keeping in mind his value system.
• Finally, when he makes a decision, he should commit to it.
If you want to test whether your child has developed the knack for making good decisions, play the ‘what if’ game with him. Initially your child may need help, but will soon begin to enjoy these games and will perhaps reverse the flow by creating a few of his own and put you in the hot seat.
There are many positive outcomes when a child learns to make a good decision. He feels empowered. He feels competent and it raises his self-esteem. When you encourage your child to make decisions, it creates a strong bond and you move away from the dictatorial style of parenting to a more inclusive one.
Copying with relentless questioning
Delay or relay
Children like to make everything sound urgent. They want an answer pronto. ‘Now! Right now!’ But that does not mean you have to answer every question right away. Either pass the question on to someone who has the time and inclination to answer, or defer it.
‘I don’t know’ is acceptable
If you don’t know the answer to your child’s question, don’t feel awkward about acknowledging that you don’t know. You can look up the answers on the internet, textbook, library or dictionary together.
Lay down guidelines
Psychologists believe that children want boundaries to be well-defined for them. Then try pushing those boundaries once in a while. As a parent, it’s up to you to realize when it is okay to give in a little and when you’ve got to stand fast.
Why do children ask questions repeatedly?
There are several reasons. Either the child is unable to comprehend the information given to the first time round or he feels the response is not in conformity with the intention of his question. Children are also constantly incorporating the new information acquired from the previous response.
Sometimes, it is simply an attention-seeking mechanism. In special cases, especially where a communication handicap is at play, it becomes a means for the child to establish communication. In children who have autism, the child is not even interested in the answer itself, though he often demands the same answer to the question. In children who have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) repeated questioning is also commonly seen.
Children are curious by nature and asking many questions is indeed good for them so be sure to encourage your child to ask questions without him becoming a quizmaster.
