Vampires vs. the Bronx

  • 17 Oct - 23 Oct, 2020
  • Mag The Weekly

Netflix movie Vampires vs. the Bronx pits a few New York City borough boys against some bloodsuckers who want to jam their block – oh, and drink their blood and all that. A blonde lady gets the last manicure at a salon, as the owner has just sold out to Murnau Properties. But the owner woman gets perforated by vampires before she can even sign the check. The next day, Miguel (Jaden Michael), known as L’il Mayor in the Bronx, posts flyers all over the neighbourhood – he’s organising a benefit block party to save his favourite bodega from “urban development.” His buddy Bobby (Gerald W. Jones III) thinks it might be a lost cause. There’s also a third kid, Luis (Gregory Diaz IV). And these kids are snooping around and finding coffins in the nearby construction, where they find coffins occupied by undead night lifer Jeremy Irons. And guess what? The vampires are the real-estate developers! Meanwhile, a girl documents various goings-on in the neighbourhood to her social media followers. Vampires vs. the Bronx show a flash or three of style and verve, but not enough to really deliver big laughs and scares. The plot hinges on dumb logical inconsistencies, and the product placement is blatant.

– Compilation