ASK A PSYCHOLOGIST

How do I stop repeating negative patterns of behaviour that lead to lows?

The first step for this is awareness, and if you’re asking this you likely have the beginning of awareness. Further awareness would be to notice what negative patterns keep occurring and try to see what triggers these behaviours. Once you know what situations, people, places, things, etc., trigger your negative behaviour patterns, you can learn new ways to respond to the triggers or learn how to avoid certain situations (avoidance is not always the answer – in cases like anxiety, avoidance can actually worsen things!). Keeping a journal can help with awareness, and going to therapy can help as well.

What are some tips for letting go of the past?

A lot of times when we try to get over the past, we try to bury it and just move on, but this is more similar to denial. If you don’t deal with the situation properly, it can manifest as something much bigger and harder to deal with later on. You got to deal to heal. Some ways to work through it are:

1. Journal

2. Try to reframe the situation – think about what you learned from it and how it may have changed you for the better or helped you grow (maybe it helped you get clearer on boundaries and respect yourself more?).

3. Be honest about the feelings and thoughts associated with the situation, honour them, and then peacefully lay them to rest.

4. Talk through the situation with a therapist.

What’s the best way to support a significant other who is dealing with severe depression?

Put simply, be there. Don’t judge, don’t pressure, and don’t try to give well-meaning suggestions all the time. Your loved one is struggling. Let them know you are there for them and love them unconditionally and that you will do your best to support them as best as you can.

Will my anxiety ever truly get better?

In short, it can. Treatment depends on how severe your anxiety is and what kind of anxiety you have. Sometimes therapy is enough. Sometimes you also need medication. But if you do the work, you can and will likely get better. Keywords: Do the work. It only works if you work it!

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