Hubward

  • 21 Aug - 27 Aug, 2021
  • Mag The Weekly
  • Fiction

"You're not in your head," said Book.

"No, you're not in our head," said Holly impishly.

"People have tried going past the Barricade before, you know. Generally they die.

Or they come back hobbling along on legs they swapped from trapped birds. Or they meet gakuoso and they spend the rest of their lives in waking false–sleep and if they make it to a city without being slurped up like oysters by klaonso, they have to be behind the dream ward forever, like children."

"When we were children, we didn't need to be there," contradicted Holly.

"Yes we did, just not for all the same reasons. We still had to learn to drowse mice."

"Someone could have done that for us," scoffed Holly. "If they knew it would work."

"What does Crystal think about all this anyway?" Book asked. "Does Crystal want to go – there?" He gestured vaguely, away and down, hubward: miles away was the Waste. At the moment there was a tiny blue sun receding in that direction, and a larger white one approaching a bit clockwise of the blue.

I want to find jewels and scrolls and trait stones full of treasures, thought Crystal dreamily.

"Crystal wants to wear the Crown of the Frozen Queen in our hair and be the darling of the Kuigao National Library," Holly reported.

"You'd look ridiculous in a crown, even with Crystal's posture," Book said. "You're too short. You don't have a remotely royal nose. You know why I didn't ask anyone if I could take your nose with me when I moved?"

"Because you hate our body?" Holly asked snidely.

"That's not fair. Crystal doesn't hate my body; that doesn't mean she'd want to live in it."

"We are still keeping that secret from Lightning," Holly warned, before Crystal panicked and reminded her.

"He can't hear me."

"I know that. And you know you want to go. But you think Lightning will think you're irresponsible."

"Well, he will. I can't volunteer to walk my cohabitor into a swarm of demons just like that."

"Let me ask him.

Go to sleep, Book."

"You'd better let Crystal ask. Lightning always liked

her better."

"You've not been able to see me talk to him for harvests now. He likes me just fine."

No, Book is right, opined Crystal.

Holly ignored that.

"And Book?"

"What, Holly?"

"You wouldn't even let me ask Lightning if you didn't want to go." She smiled; it showed all her teeth.

Book rolled his eyes and went to sleep; his cohabitor took over with one long blink.

"Hullo, Lightning," said Holly.

"Crystal?" asked Lightning.

"No, Holly. But you can talk to her, if you'd rather," Holly sighed.

"I'd rather," said Lightning

Holly rolled her eyes and faded back. She was still aware, but only through Crystal: she knew it when Crystal thought thoughts, but didn't feel Crystal press her hands together and sit up straight – or feel how Crystal felt about Lightning. (Holly thought feeling anything for Lightning was weird. His body hadn't taken even one trait from them when Book moved, but Book still lived there, and Book was their brother, and that made Lightning their brother too, as far as Holly was concerned.)

I didn't ask to like him, you know, Crystal thought at her sharply.

I know, I know.

"Hi, Lightning," Crystal said.

"Crystal," acknowledged Lightning, yawning.

"Where are we?"

"On top of the art museum. Are you tired? I don't have any mice with me."

"Not really tired, no, don't worry," Lightning assured her. "What are we doing here?"

"Holly dragged Book up to talk without anyone listening because she – well, me too, but I think Holly will be up front for much of it – wants to go past the Barricade. And find treasure and possibly fight demons. Small demons without such thick exoskeletons,

I mean. We would have to run from anything like a tuifnka."

Lightning blinked at her. Crystal waited, neither smiling nor frowning, watching his eyebrows move. He used his face in a different way than Book did – Book was still unaccustomed to it, still tended to smile and purse his lips in the ways that had gotten the best results when people had looked at him and seen a girl. Lightning had never had that problem.

Tell him we can live off the land and bring plenty of mice, thought Holly. Tell him we'll be rich. Tell him, she adds with sudden inspiration, that we can't go without him.

"We can't go without you," Crystal said, but she thought, why won't you let me alone? Why won't you properly sleep?

I don't have to. No one would if they didn't have to.

I would.

This was probably true. Crystal was nearly able to true sleep – not quite, however much she wanted to, but she had the knack of it more than Holly, who was always at least dimly aware of their body. Book could true sleep completely even before he left them; this was almost the only reason it was expected to be safe for him to move in with someone who was born alone, like most people.

"When would we go?"

Lightning asked.

Crystal smiled. "After a shopping trip and letting our parents know. What else would stop us?"

***************

Fourteen harvests ago…

"I'm not Holly!" Book screamed. "Stop calling me Holly!"

Yeah! Thought Holly.

Stop calling him Holly!

"Where is Holly, then?" asked the doctor patiently.

He was wearing a blue robe, very distinguished. He had a mustache. Book wanted a mustache. If he had to keep living in Holly's body he could never grow one.

The doctor looked smart; could he understand?

"Holly is sleeping," Book simplified, because no one ever understood if any of them tried to explain just being faded back. "I named myself Book. Holly's asleep. So is Crystal."

Only sort of, thought Crystal.

He's trying to help, thought Holly.

"Those are the two imaginary cohabitors she's invented," said Chime, one of their mothers. Book could tell it was Chime because she sighed those little puffy sighs. Couldn't Chime tell the difference between her daughters and her son?

"I'm not imaginary, and Crystal isn't either," snapped Book.

I didn't make up anybody! I don't need imaginary friends! I have real ones, fumed Holly.

Chime said, "We humoured her, we asked her if she could prove it, the way they – it was horrible, treating her like a criminal – Cloud, my cohabitor, wrote that she tried hiding a cookie, when Holly admitted to being Holly, and then 'Crystal' could find it. But Holly doesn't think that's how adults work. Holly didn't expect me to remember this after Cloud went to sleep."

"We don't sleep like grownups," Book grumbled. "We're different."

"Well," said the doctor. "If Holly and – Crystal?"

"Crystal," said Book firmly. "Holly named her. She couldn't think of anything herself."

Just not anything good, thought Crystal.

"Our parents only named Holly, not me and her," continued Book. "I kept asking Cloud what my name was and she just said Holly, over and over, and I'm not Holly."

"If they're really asleep, then when they wake up, they won't be tired," the doctor said.

"We've been up for almost ten sands," said Book.

"Well, yes, your body has," the doctor said. "But grownups learn to drowse mice, so their bodies can be rested all the time. When Chime sleeps, Cloud is awake, and when Cloud is awake, Chime sleeps. If Book is awake, and Holly and Crystal are asleep..."

"If we learn to drowse mice," Book said, seizing on this idea. "If we do that and then we can keep our eyes open all the time, swapping around, then you'll believe us?"

Why didn't you think of that? Holly thought.

Why didn't you? Book thought back.

"I think that makes sense," said the doctor genially.

"Put our tiredness in a mouse for us, then, and we'll stay up," said Book.

Chime cut in. "She'll only invent another reason why she's different, when it doesn't work."

"I admit there's a possibility that if one of us drowses a mouse for her she could claim we didn't really do it," acknowledged the doctor.

"Teach us to drowse mice," Book commanded. "We can do it ourselves."

I'm best at troportation, objected Holly. I can already change colours on flat stuff.

"Teach Holly," amended Book. "She'll get it faster."

"Well, if you'll go to sleep and send Holly out," said the doctor patiently – why couldn't he be one of their fathers instead of Reed and Mountain? – "then I think Chime and I can probably make some progress on that."

Book faded back, but not all the way, even though he could, because he wanted to learn this too.

"I'm Holly," Holly announced, surging forward. "How do I make a mouse be tired instead of me? Teach me how now."

"You think she's – actually – naturally – she was just born with several souls –" Chime murmured.

"A great many things are possible," the doctor said.

Crystal started the hike awake. They weren't likely to run into anything dangerous early in the trip, and she and Holly were agreed that Holly was the fighter between the two of them. Book was awake, and he was ranging a little ahead, hauling himself around on his walking stick over the rocks. Her body was lighter, nimbler, and she hadn't picked up a branch yet. Crystal was carrying their mice in her back slung cage and Book had the food and the pure water. Their white fox Tiag – Book still claimed one–third ownership even since vacating the body Tiag recognized as her master – trotted along after.

"Demons don't eat animals," Crystal said. "Right?"

Book would have said to leave her at home, if they did, Holly pointed out.

"Tiag's going to be fine," Book said. "She doesn't have a soul. If she did the klaonso would've eaten it the first time she took a nap outside the dreamward."

"Klaonso aren't the same as demons with bodies."

"They all eat souls, Holly. Klaonso are just the only ones who can do it without physically attacking."

"Not Holly, Crystal. I can tell you and Lightning apart…"

"Oh. Sorry. I keep being surprised when I see you in front," Book said, looking over his shoulder. "Given that you have that enormous crush on Lightning, wouldn't you want to spend more of your wake time when he's out and not me?"

"I like him. But you're still our brother," Crystal said. "I don't want to just never talk to you again. I'm surprised Lightning could do it. You were his friend, before."

Book shrugged. "Everybody has to make tradeoffs, when it comes time to cohabit.

Except you."

"We still miss you,"

Crystal said softly.

"I'm here," Book said.

"Right. Not here. I can't hear you thinking anymore."

"Would you want to hear me thinking ugh, ugh, ugh, I'm growing? I think that's most of what you missed."

"No," she admitted.

"I guess this is better. You were never all the way happy."

He was so uncomfortable all the time. I bet that's why he learned to go completely asleep! I thought Holly in a flash of insight.

"I miss you too, sometimes," Book said. They came to a brook and started moving along it, looking for a spot with a solid place to jump to on the opposite side.

"It's very quiet in here."

"If Lightning were the tiniest bit awake, I'd have to mind my chat," laughed Crystal softly.

Book shuddered. "I'm not going to talk you into telling him, certainly. What if he said swells, let's mix some properties?"

"He's not my brother!"

"He cohabits with me.

That makes him…"

"Everyone else mixes body properties. You only moved your soul."

"Yes, well, everyone else is discarding one of the bodies when they move in together. I was leaving my original behind with two people still in it. I would've liked the eye colour, maybe the feet, maybe the ears, but you're using them."

"Lightning didn't get more related to me when you moved."

"Did I get less related to you?"

"No," mumbled Crystal. "You were – oh, never mind."

Book sighed. He found a good place to jump. They leapt, with Tiag clinging to Crystal's shoulders. Tiag was domesticated with a troport from a dog, but unlike dogs, she climbed around on people in a manner very like a kitten.

Tiag barked.

"What?" Crystal said quietly.

Demon? This close to home? Holly thought.

Crystal drew their knives, and Holly woke up as much as she could without sending Crystal to sleep just yet, trying to help process the forest. The nearest sun was a low red one,

and it made the ground not shaded by dark–leafed

trees look splattered with blood. Book had a string of miniature spears dangling from his belt; he plucked one, troported sizes between it and his walking stick, and held

the weapon ready.

-Anonymous

RELATED POST

COMMENTS