Experts have spent decades researching the neuroscience of resilience. After years of research, they have found that there’s one skill in particular that has boosted kids’ confidence and resilience: how to “worry well.” Our role as parents is not to remove worry from our children’s lives, but to give them the tools to manage that anxiety and fear. Here’s how to do that, especially if they have a tendency to panic.

1. Set aside time to worry, then release

Don't tell kids not to worry; instead, encourage them to schedule "worry sessions." Set a five-minute timer and instruct your child to think about every detail of their worry during that period. Even better, they can put all their worries in writing. Then, after the time has passed, request that they let go of their concerns and stop thinking about them. Remind your child that they have already had their worry time if they start worrying again. If necessary, these sessions may be held every day.

2. Create a worry box or jar

Your kids can store their worries in this. Have your child decorate it before having them list each anxiety on paper and put it in the container. Inform them that once it is in the box, they can stop worrying about it.

3. Have them imagine the worst case scenario

Ask your worried child, "What's the worst that can happen?" They gain confidence as a result of realising that the worst-case scenario is not as bad as they originally thought. They also gain perspective from it. Tell them that if they're worried, they won't pass a test, they can ask the teacher for assistance or hire a tutor. Our children learn that most issues can be resolved by being reminded that they are capable of handling even the worst-case scenario.

4. Have them imagine the best case scenario

Encourage kids to think about the best-case scenarios rather than the worst ones since kids often only consider the negative ones. Expert shared, “My son Samson, who has always been a worrier, asked me a ton of questions on the way over about what would happen if the balloon punctured or ran out of air when we went on a hot air balloon ride in Albuquerque. I advised him to picture himself flying through the air, the wind blowing through his hair. This strategy instills in kids a more impartial way of thinking.”

5. Point out and reinforce positive outcomes

The expert further added, “we had no trouble getting into the air on that hot air balloon ride. However, there was no breeze at all when it came time to land. Our fuel was running low as we were just hanging there, above streets and residences. Samson asked me, "Is it time to panic?" as the pilot explained his revised landing strategy. I smiled and said, "No. There is no need to panic. But you'll be the first to know if there's actually a reason to freak out. We landed safely and were treated to an amazing view, I reaffirmed for Samson afterward. I assured him that although he was worried, everything worked out wonderfully in the end.”