I’ve been battling depression since a few months now. But it is just getting worse as now I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I personally don’t think I’m suicidal but I just can’t seem to escape from thoughts like “What if I jump off the roof?” I don’t want to think all this but I just can’t seem to stop. It’s like a voice inside my head telling me to do it but deep down I know it’s wrong. Please help!

Your problem seems to have been going on for a few months now. Please consult a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication to cure your depression. Suicidal thoughts need to be taken seriously. Talk to someone in your family about these thoughts. You need therapy and strong family support to cope with this problem. Suicidal thoughts can go away once the underlying cause of depression is known and taken care of. The good thing is that there is a rational side in you that keeps guiding you correctly. Have faith in that part of you. It will protect you from taking any irrational step.

I am sometimes what I call neutral but not often happy. I feel pain or deep sadness but it is so incredibly hard for me to feel happy. How do you let yourself feel happy? I know years of trauma growing up without any secure attachment didn't help and I learned at a very young age to be hypervigilant waiting to be hurt again and ready. I barely had a chance for a short break to get ready and brace myself for the next trauma. Now as an adult it is so hard to not have that stressed feeling in my gut to be ready at any moment and I very rarely feel happy. Just sometimes not consumed with pain. How can one get to feeling joy?

We are all born with an innate ability to feel happiness within ourselves. Some traumatic and unfortunate events can alter the way life is perceived by different people. You seem to have gone through a prolonged childhood trauma. It seems you have got used to that pain and now you almost expect it and wait for it. It’s not your fault. You can find your cure through consistent therapy with a counselor who will explore your childhood life events with you and provide you with the support that you lacked in your early years. Your inner child needs holding, love and care. Once that is given, you will start feeling better.