Our 14-year-old spends a huge amount of time in her room whiling away hours on social media. This leads to her getting involved in all sorts of dramas with her friends’ groups and that affects her mood. She becomes sulky when we ask her to spend time with us as a family and we end up arguing. Is there a way to change this situation?

First, sit down with your husband and work out a new set of rules that balance your daughter’s natural need to be more independent with her family responsibilities. We suggest part of this focuses on limiting screen time. Once you’ve worked out how you can do this, talk to her about it. Not at a flash point or when she’s sulky, but at a time when you can both be calm and positive. Explain to her the rules, your reasoning behind them and the consequences for not following them and then expect the fallout. This is likely not to go down too well with her and initially you might be in for a rocky ride. However, if you’re determined to stand firm and she sees that the boundaries are not for pushing, then I believe you will start to see a difference in her attitude. Give her responsibilities around the house and build in a reward structure.

Like many, I admit I get stressed with work. Recently, I’ve begun taking my anger out on my kids when I get home and fear I’m becoming a serial ‘yeller’. What can I do?

We think you need ‘time space’? This is when you know you’re in danger of yelling, so you define 10 minutes as your own personal ‘time space’ in your room. Let everyone know what you’re doing is important to you. This is the void where you metaphorically switch from work to home, from professional to parent. Stay quiet, relax your breathing, disengage momentarily with everything and emerge ready to face whatever. Because you’ve had time to unwind you can plan a more constructive way to react to any genuine behavioural issues as they arise.