In Search of Identity

  • 11 Sep - 17 Sep, 2021
  • Mag The Weekly
  • Fiction

At the park of our university, the four of us were seated. We were two girls and two boys; a blonde, a brunette, a tall heighted fellow and myself. The brunette who was reading the newspaper and began the conversation,

“Here’s an interesting piece of news. In some under developed country, let’s not mention the name, an accident takes place. One single mother and one economist, the two of them are severely injured.”

The tall heighted fellow was listening with utmost impatience. The brunette continued,

“Now the two of them are in the hospital. Unfortunately due to the limited resources, very limited staff, and more importantly limited time, the doctors can save only one of them.”

“Okay…” the blonde said.

“Now here’s what we must know, the mother is a single mother and has four children who are all under twelve years of age. On the other side, the economist is not an ordinary economist; he is a gold medalist… Now the question is, with limited time and resources what must the doctors do?”

“Can’t they save both of them?” I asked.

“My answer is that they should save the economist,” this tall heighted fellow said.

“Are you kidding me?”

the blonde spoke defensively. “There’s a mother of four children. They all depend on her.”

“Well, there’s an economist on the other side.

The whole country depends on him, which is an under developed country if I’m not wrong.”

“Wait, listen to me. Clear something here. You’re saying that they should let the mother of four children die?”

“No, I am not saying that. I’m only suggesting that they should think wisely. And you must too. That guy is an economist whose expertise can change the fortune of their entire population.”

“That’s not necessary!”

“You know what guys,” I spoke in between, “let’s not argue on this. There’s nothing we can do about this now. The staff of the hospital will do whatever they have to regardless of what we think.”

“Hang on for a minute,”

the blonde said, “I am really surprised that you think that the economist who has no family behind should be alive according to you…”

“…How do you know that?”

he asked interrupting her.

“How do you know that he has no family behind?”

The brunette said,

“There are no details mentioned about this…”

“Alright fine,” the blonde said, “let’s not assume that. Maybe he has a family, maybe he doesn’t. But I just want to know that the woman who has four children. Her four children, what if they get involved in some criminal activity? What if they become a part of some mafia, after her?”

“Look, if you want to talk about the consequences,”

he replied, “you’ll have to consider every aspect.”

“Such as?”

“If there will be bad consequences of the mother’s death, so will be for the economist. Bad consequences are everywhere; we cannot expect them to stop completely.”

“Alright, fine… Since you are defending the economist so much, tell me what guarantee do you have? How are you so sure that if he would be rescued then he would work upon the economy of the state and actually make it better?”

“Alright, I can ask the same thing. What guarantee do you have that the mother would actually look after the four children and not let them get involved in a criminal activity?”

“That is what every mother does,” she answered spontaneously.

“What if she is a drug addict?”

“Now, that’s an assumption.

You can’t bring that in.”

I got really fed up listening to this so I finally broke my silence,

“Look you guys; this is a never ending debate. Let’s just hope for the best, pray for them and move ahead now.”

“I think he’s right,”

the brunette agreed with me and chuckled a bit.

I also laughed.

Thank God!

The debate finally ended.


It has been a few weeks and I have been living in this city San Francisco. It doesn’t really matter why I am here but this city is way different than where I previously used to live. Washington is not the place

I am really fond of.

I was at a bookshop one day and I was with a colleague of mine, the brunette. She wasn’t quite fascinated but I was more than what you can describe.

I wasn’t really describing my emotions but I could have if someone would have asked me.

My brunette friend was standing at the biographies section and was checking some old books. As I walked by her side,

I asked her,

“So, you like reading personalities?”

“No, I am just wondering who could have written such a

huge book.”

“Just this book?”

“It’s not about writing the book per se. It’s about this world of books. People prefer such detailed information. That’s really surprising me.”

“I am willing to give you an answer for this.”

“Okay, I am listening…”

“Detailed information is what is required to conduct a step by step analysis, on any particular topic so to speak.”

“But these biography books…”

“These people are great leaders. Their deeds and actions are questionable to many. A brief answer to such objections is not enough. The writers have to solve the matter through different angles.”

“Okay whatever,” she kept the book back inside the rack.

I gave an expression of disliking her attitude but before moving to another section,

I stated clearly,

“You know there’s something I must say here. If you are not into books, then I must inform you that there’s a lot you are missing on. There’s a whole world out there that you haven’t seen.”

“Hey, excuse me, you know me very well. You know that I am a reader and quite a passionate one. It’s just that I prefer reading short books. I like short books because I can’t stick to one subject for more than one month.”

“Hmm, I see….”

I had no other words and nothing more to say since I was a bit embarrassed, to be honest. I however, walked further towards the self-help section and finally found a spot to feel a little better. Do I owe her an apology? I don’t want to think about it.

I have one more confession though. Seeing so many books altogether, it made me feel disappointed. I do not want my life to end, unless, I have read each and every book here in this shop. This shop is more of a library if you ask me.

My brunette friend was walking towards the counter. She had two books in her hand.

Each book seemed not more hundred pages long.

“Oh God, it hurts so much,”

I uttered. “So much to read and so little time.”

I walked to another section so I could distract my mind.


At the playroom of our university, I was playing darts while my tall heighted friend was playing basketball. We were not quite far away from each other as we were having a conversation as well,

“This semester was quite an easy one,” he said.

to be continued...