In Search of Identity

  • 09 Oct - 15 Oct, 2021
  • Salaar Laghari
  • Fiction

Finally as the time came, Mr Kingston and I were standing face to face in my apartment’s terrace. He then asked me,

“So, what is your final decision?”

I gave my reply to him,

“Yes, I will do it.”

He appeared stunned, but he appreciated me,

“Good. I am very impressed with you. You made an instant decision.”

“What will I have to do?” I asked.

“Something quite heinous. Or perhaps something even beyond that.”

Now, this was getting intriguing, but not in a good way. I wanted immediate answers but this man was anything but straight forward.

He continued,

“Come with me downstairs. You and I will discuss it over dinner.”

“Okay, before anything else. I want some surety. I want to have one hundred percent confidence on you.”

“I understand, don’t worry. I’ll give you the address of my house. Don’t worry, you have my word. You will get everything that you deserve.”

While the two of us were at some open air restaurant,

Mr Kingston began the conversation from where

we left,

“Let me make it very clear that you will definitely get your identity as long as you perform the job correctly.”

“Can you please break this suspense and tell me what I am supposed to do?”

“Hang on, haste is waste, don’t forget that. This deal cannot be conducted with this attitude.”

I tried to keep myself calm as I was really losing my temper on this.

“Now, listen to me,” he said. “There is a house. A small pent house. There are few residents there. You have to destroy them all through a bomb blast.”

Oh, my God! Expect the worse and get the worst has happened.

I however, reacted way differently than what was going on in my mind,

“Alright, I’ll do it, as long as you will arrange the weapons to do the task.”

“Good. I’m glad that you agreed. As far as the bomb is concerned, don’t worry about it at all. It will be a time bomb and I shall arrange it for you.”

“When do we have to conduct this activity?”

“Actually, it’s not going to be us. You will be doing this alone. I hope that is absolutely clear to you.”

“That will be clear once you explain the entire task to me.”

“Okay. Here’s how it will begin…”

“First, tell me about when…”

“Within a week. You will stay home and do nothing besides preparing yourself mentally. I will arrange a bomb. In fact, I have already arranged it; I just have to claim it from this warehouse. So, on the day of the crime, I will drop you at the location and leave. Your task is to take the bag and place it inside the penthouse somehow. You can throw it inside, or you can simply ring the bell and give it as a postal delivery. For that, I can also arrange a uniform. Anyways, once the bomb is placed inside the boundary of the penthouse, you will flee away from the place on your own.”

“Why not in your car?”

“There are CCTVs all around. We have to stay away from each other.”

“What if I get caught in the CCTV?”

“You’ll need a mask to cover your face. As far as getting arrested is concerned, that’s not my responsibility. You must flee away as fast as you can.”

I was quite disturbed but it was all clear now.

He broke the silence after creating it,

“Whenever you find a broken magnifying glass in front of yourself, understand that you are about to get your answers.”

“Magnifying glass?”

“A broken magnifying glass.

It is a symbol, a key.”

“I’m clearly not understanding this,” I answered with confused state of mind.

“I’m saying that a broken magnifying glass would be a symbol of the fact that you carried out the job properly and now you are getting your identity.”

“What? Why?”

“To make it easy, as long as you don’t see a magnifying glass, don’t raise your expectations.”

I got really fed up and said,

“Look sir, if you are planning to play riddles with me…”

“…Just carry out the job properly,” he interrupted me, “and then you’ll be getting what you want sooner than you can even expect.”

That better happen. I said in my heart.


Few days later, I visited the same university I had before.

I was hoping I could meet anyone of those three friends. I wanted to give them another chance. Working for Kingston and trusting these three youngsters, both were not easy. But I had to try both options; whichever might lead me to my answers.

Matters could have been a lot simpler if I had just adopted some new identity and had forgotten my past. But this sick desperation to know myself compelled me to stay here, stuck between these terrorists.

I saw Ellison, the blonde walking by. I saw her and hoped that I would talk to her but the moment her eyes caught mine, she changed her walking direction and avoided meeting me as if escaping away from a cop.

I followed her and accelerated my walking speed.

Don’t let her get away, she is definitely hiding something.

I instructed myself.

I followed her in a crowd of several people. She kind of knew that I was after her and she managed to escape me. I looked around and realised that I had lost her.

But I found her coincidentally at some distance. I followed her again. Dodging people who were walking towards the opposite direction and keeping my eyes fixed on her. That’s how I had to reach her. But unfortunately I lost her again.

Damn it! I got really angry on what happened.

Few moments later, I was seated inside the cafeteria of our campus. I wanted a drink so that I could cool myself down. However, I couldn’t buy one as I was short of cash.

What I wasn’t expecting, happened. Linda, the brunette came by my side and greeted me,

“Hello Henry, where have you been?”

I looked up at her and nearly lost control. But I controlled myself and simply said after standing up,

“Can I talk to you please?”


I got an interesting idea that moment, so I asked her,

“Can we go to my place?”


“Whenever convenient? But today…”

She looked aside giving it a thought and then answered,

“Okay, we can go after two hours.”

“Sure. Where should I wait for you?”

“How about you stay here? I’ll be back after attending my last session of the day.”

I nodded as if I completely agreed.

We had a little more conversation and then she left for her class.

As she walked away, I spoke to myself as if I was talking to her,

Now, I will attain my identity by imposing terror on you.


I shut the door of my apartment as Linda entered inside.

I asked her to sit in the lounge, while I was making my way towards the kitchen. I took out two knives and cleaned them through a piece of cloth to make them look terrifying.

I came out of the kitchen and walked towards her as she was seated in the lounge. I had hid the two knives behind myself. I asked her,

“Linda, can I ask you something?”


“I want you to cooperate with me and answer me without wasting any time.”

“What’s going on Henry? And what are you hiding?”

“Tell me who am I? What is my name?”

“You know very well that you are Henry Eckhart.”

I took out the knives in front of her and stood close to her. She almost screamed with terror. I placed one of the knives on her chin. She was very much scared and wanted to scream again.

“I’m going to ask you very nicely and easily,” I spoke with firmness, “but I will ask for the last time. Tell me who am I?”

“You can’t do this,” she said looking at my face. “You are not a bad person. You cannot harm a woman.”

“You know as a matter of fact, I have become a bad person. I am making a deal with some terrorist. I am about to kill an entire family in a bomb blast. So, don’t think that I can’t harm you.”

“Please, don’t do this. Please let me go.”

Now she was terrified.

“I’ll let you go. Just tell me my name. Tell me the truth. Tell me who am I…”

“You are Henry Eckhart. Please let me go. I know nothing.”

I moved back and kept the knife away from her. I, then asked her politely,

“Alright, I won’t threat you. Now will you tell me the truth?”

“I don’t know anything besides what I just told you,” she pretended to cry.

I got irritated now and threw the knife away.

She’s a good actor. I told myself. Don’t believe her words because you know she is lying.

“Just get out,” I said angrily.


“Just get out of my house!”

I was very angry. I wanted to force terror on her but seeing her cry made me feel weak or probably inhuman.

She stood up and slowly walked towards the exit. I saw that she wasn’t crying anymore. I understood she was just pretending to be terrorised, so that she could escape.

Before she opened the door, the door opened itself and Mr Kingston surprisingly entered inside. The two of them looked at each other but Linda ignored him and left.

Mr Kingston looked at me and taunted,

“What have you been you to?”

“Why are you here?”

I asked angrily.

“I’m here to tell you that everything is ready. We are doing it day after tomorrow. Oh actually, you are doing it…”

“Okay,” I replied feeling relieved remembering that I was getting my identity in exchange for this.

“If you need any information then you can ask me.”

“I will when I have to,” I replied. “Not right now. Just leave me alone now.”

He chuckled as if trying to tease me. He came closer towards me and said,

“You look like a chameleon to me. Your mood swings change colour.”

“Just leave me right now. I will talk tomorrow.”

He chuckled again getting me more annoyed than before.

I angrily picked up the knife and showed it to him as if I would hurt him if he would provoke me.

“Oh…” he mocked. “You have the guts to do it?”

I threw it away angrily and walked towards the exit,

leaving the apartment, so I could be alone.


Next day, Mr Kingston and I went to some secret warehouse, where he finally received the time bomb. At first, he made sure that he had received the right thing and after he was satisfied, he kept it on a table before us. He tried to teach me how it works but I simply refused to listen to this and said to him,

“Just make it start when I step out of the car.”

“Okay, but be careful with it.”

Finally, came the next day. The two of us were seated at the back side of the car. Mr Kingston started the timer and said to me,

“It will blast in next four minutes.”

“That one is the house, right?” I asked pointing towards some bungalow.

“Yes, that is the one.”

“How many people live there?”

“Three. Two women and one man.”

“How are they related?”

“Just let it be…Now go…”

As I almost stepped out of the car, he said to me,

“And remember…The broken magnifying glass. The day you see some broken magnifying glass, it would mean that you are getting your answers because of doing the task correctly.”

I nodded and finally stepped out. I was now walking towards the house, dressed as a delivery man. I saw that Kingston and his driver had left.

I approached towards the house until I heard someone calling me from the left side. I turned and looked at it. It was some cop standing by his police car.

“What are you holding?” he asked pointing his torch towards me.

Oh, my God! I will be so dead. I whispered.

I ignored him and continued walking towards the house.

“Hey, stop!” the cop exclaimed. “What’s in the bag?” 

to be continued...