In Search of Identity

  • 30 Oct - 05 Nov, 2021
  • Salaar Laghari
  • Fiction

I quickly turned at a speed of one eighty degrees so that I could run as faster as I can. As I started running like a wild prey that runs away from its predator, I heard the police officer shouting and exclaiming,

“Hey, stop! Stop, right now!”

I ran as loosely as I could without concerning about in whom I might crash. This reckless running was obviously dangerous but I was somewhat used to it.

All the while when I was running I was telling myself that if I would stop for even one second or if I would lower my speed, the cop would shoot me instantly and I would there and then die without even knowing and finding out who I actually am.

So, it turns out that I am still desperate to discover my identity and to know about myself that I still don’t know. I don’t want to die unless I figure out who I actually am.

The cop was chasing me and I could hear him talk on his walkie talkie. I also heard two gunshots that he probably would have shot in the air. The public that was normally walking earlier and busy with their usual daily routine stuff had now stopped and all of them were curiously watching this chase between the two of us.

I was the center of attention. I don’t know if I should be proud of it, but if I would be successful in escaping this police encounter, I would definitely see myself as a hero of some crime and action movie.

After several minutes of running, I finally got away and the cop lost my track of where I went. I hid myself behind a wall of some bank’s building. I was taking huge breaths as I was way too tired by then.

Oh, thank God! I gasped. I must rush and run to my home now.

I peeked at the road again to make sure no one was looking at me and even was around me. I was alone but I had noted one thing by now.

The cops have recognised my face and I am one of the most wanted criminals of the state.

Several hours later, while I was still walking on the streets, I gave myself a little moral lecture,

You are feeling very guilty of your crime. This can even get worse. The names Martha, Lisa and Roald can haunt you forever if you keep fleeing like this. You know what you must do. You should surrender yourself to the police and let the law of the state decide what the most suitable punishment for you is.

Then, what is stopping me? Why am I not showing myself at the police station?

The answer is that I want to know who I am. Perhaps, this is my last wish. I am willing to die, but not before figuring out who I am and most importantly what is my name.

I came across an interesting idea out of nowhere. The cops can help me find my identity. They have the records and documents of every citizen. If they don’t have the records, they can simply guide me and get access to those who have.

I was very satisfied on this. The chase could be over now. I would clearly present myself to the police and after getting arrested I would tell them my condition. They would then work on finding my identity and before getting sentenced by the court, I would at least know my name.

Hurray! Wow! I uttered as I got excited.

Before I could walk ahead, a thought came to my mind,

What about the three innocent people that I have killed.

Let the court decide what needs to be done. The answer came from my moral mind.

I heard the cell phone ringing. It was the phone that Luke gave me the other day. I answered the call from an unknown number,

“Hello?”

“It’s me Luke,” Luke spoke from the other line, “where are you?”

“I’m around my location. Why?”

“Have you seen the news lately? Do you know what is being told?”

“What?”

“Your face has been identified.”

“Oh, my God! Really?”

“Yes. And I didn’t know back then but I do know now. You were the one who blasted that house.”

“No. It’s not like that….”

“No, tell me, was it you? Were you the one who planted a bomb inside that house?”

“Yes, it was me. But I was offered something that I simply couldn’t refuse.”

“Look Henry, I don’t want to stay in touch with you anymore. Just hand over my phone as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I will,” I answered sternly. “Come to my apartment and get it yourself.”

I disconnected the call.

That midnight, I was still walking on the streets downstairs as I knew I couldn’t. I was spending the mysterious money on drinks as I was watching and enjoying the night life of the city.

What on earth is this? I commented when I saw young teenagers and young adults performing stunts that I had never seen before.

These youngsters were doing really dangerous stuff such as standing on their two fingers or just elbows; and likewise standing with one foot on their bicycles.

I wish I could have spent more time of my life on this stuff rather than fleeing from the police.

While I was standing there and watching those teenagers, I felt some woman constantly looking at me. I turned my eyes and looked at her, and as I did, I realised that this woman was staring at me with suspicion. She then took out her cell phone as if to reconfirm something.

I understood that she had recognised my face after watching it on the news channel and was probably up to take some legal action now. I couldn’t fight her or argue with her which was why I simply moved backwards and tried to escape the crowd.

Of course, I couldn’t keep like this forever but I feel that I would get myself arrested only when I want to. You can guess how often that happens for youngsters of my age.

Later when I realised that it was 4:00 AM, I went back to my apartment and slept.

***************

As I woke up after several hours, the first thought that came to my mind was about my desperate need to know who I am before I finally hand over myself to the police. In few words, my last wish is just to find out what is my name and who am I.

After one hour of having bath and breakfast, my guilt of killing three innocent people started haunting me again. These three names Martha, Lisa and Roald were echoing around in my mind.

Will I ever or will I not get my identity? It depends on what I do. Mr Kingston does not matter, I am not sure whether he would disclose my identity before me or not.

My cell phone started ringing again. I recognised Luke’s cell number but I did not answer the call.

My life is not getting easier. I instructed myself. The sooner I surrender myself, the better it would be for me.

The phone kept on ringing and it made me annoyed and fed up, so I answered it, the second time he called,

“Yes, what do you want?”

“Henry, you can be in great trouble. As a friend I’m suggesting you to hand yourself to the police.”

“Look, you are trying to be my friend. As a friend then I’m asking you, can you prove it to me through documents that my name is Henry Eckhart.”

He was silent for a long while. I asked him again,

“What happened? Where are you lost now?”

“Henry please, you are…”

“…Don’t call me Henry,” I interrupted. “Either prove it first or don’t call me Henry at all.”

“Why do you think that I am lying to you about your identity?”

“Prove me that I think wrong,” I answered back. “Prove it to me through evidences that my assumptions about you guys are all wrong.”

“Okay, how can I prove it?”

“Show me my identity card or something of that sort.”

“I can’t, I don’t have it with me.”

“Yes, you can’t because you are a culprit yourself.”

“What is wrong with you? Why are you insulting my honour?”

“You know what just go to hell…”

Getting angry, I disconnected the call.

***************

Twelve Hours Later

I was walking downstairs as I was hoping to see some teenage action which had quite some enthusiasm. I was wondering if I were not a part of all these terrorist activities then I would have made a great stunt boy out of myself.

These dreams are meant to shatter. I know that I personally do not want to surrender myself to the police but there is one plus point and that is that I shall discover my true identity once I will be under the custody of the police.

Quite unexpectedly, somebody kept his hand on my right side shoulder. He was standing behind me and I didn’t know who he was. I was expecting him to be Luke but as I turned I saw a man standing in police uniform.

For a moment there, I was startled and horrified when I looked at that man. The police officer pretended to be nice and calm,

“We are here to talk nicely with you,” he said to me.

As he said ‘we’, I realised that he was not alone. I looked around and saw three other cops with him.

“What do you want from me?” I asked casually and unclearly.

“Excuse me? Anyways, we have been told that you are going through some memory problems.”

I moved back a little,

away from him.

“Mr Eckhart, don’t worry,” he said to me showing a gesture of politeness.

I understood the entire game now. Luke was the one who brought them here and told them things about me that weren’t mostly true.

“Just cooperate with us,” the cop continued, “and you won’t be in any trouble.”

That instant, I ducked and after making a front flip, I simply escaped from the spot running with the maximum speed I can have.

“Follow him! Don’t let him get away,” he instructed his team.

I ran like ran last night and I was asking myself,

What is wrong with you? Aren’t you thinking of bringing an end to this by simply surrendering yourself?

I don’t know where my mind was but I kept on running instinctively.

“Stop! Stop, right now!” I heard the cops calling me from behind.

What happened next was even worse.

The cops were firing through their guns now. I was quite terrified and this time extra sweat was falling down from my head.

I ran and I ran until I disappeared from their sight and even from that place. The cops were nowhere near, nowhere far away. I was hiding behind some staircase but I was also not considering coming out.

Several hours later during the midnight, I was walking towards the house that was blasted a couple of days ago. I did not walk here but came through taxi.

All the while when I was approaching the destructed place; I felt my heartbeat running faster.

I am a terrorist; there is no doubt about that. I have to make up for my crimes.

As I got really closer to the boundary of the house,

I saw a magnifying glass with its glass shattered hanging on the wall of the bungalow’s boundary. Something rang a bell in my mind.

to be continued...

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