You may say I’m a dreamer...

  • 08 Jan - 14 Jan, 2022
  • Ayesha Adil
  • Fiction

As a regular blogger I think my readers are waiting for a year end; end of year resolution type piece but to be honest I am too spent to write anything. This pandemic has drained my energy to the point that all I want to do is take one day at a time and whether the next day is the first day of the New Year is irrelevant to me.

I just want to get through the day and reach the next one alive and well.

I’m not complaining, don't get me wrong. I know that I am in better circumstances than most. We aren’t all in the same boat with this pandemic, I have realized that. There are people much worse than us. Some of us lost our jobs and our homes. Many of us had to discontinue our education because we couldn’t afford it anymore. The entire world economy was transformed and the new norm emerged. Many businesses have evolved into a “work from home” establishment saving on overheads and many other costs. Brand new ventures emerged mostly virtual ones keeping in mind the direction the world was moving in. People made use of the opportunities that came their way and there is nothing wrong with that. If anything it probably created more jobs and after all they need to feed their families and take care of other expenses. Ironically in many ways people actually benefited from the pandemic, they found a niche for their abilities. When God closes one door, He opens another.

For the most part I have been grateful for food on the table and our needs being met. Fawad still has his job even though his company had to downsize and many people lost their jobs. Fawad and his friends continued to help the fallen soldiers till they got back on their feet but then that was them; what about the majority of people out there. How many were you able to help?

Charity organisations picked up their pace and more activity became evident all over the city. Free food is now available in countless locations and at least at the end of the day people have food to eat. It gives us all hope in some small measure.

The greatest injury to our senses is the fact that this is the new norm, this is how things will be. And with new waves of the virus cropping up every few months one can only imagine where we will be next.

For the majority of us we have evolved into some form of “personal normalcy”. We’re going about our work and business with caution and care and hoping that we can be alive to be there for our family and friends the next year, the next month, the next week, the next day. This is how unpredictable life is now.

And this predominantly is the reason why I don't want to make a big deal of the new year coming. I don't have it in me to make more changes, new year resolutions, the new year,

the new me means nothing to me.

This world has become so unsure and so novel; besides hurt and pain I feel very little. Look at what we’ve done to our planet. Look at what destruction we’ve brought about by war and genocide. What is left to celebrate? The fact that this is the time that the wealthy have decided to move into space further insults and injures our sentiments. The ordinary wont be able to leave planet Earth after its been plundered by the rich. You and I will be left to our own devices when they pack up and leave for Mars. We will be left behind trying to heal a dying planet. With these realities to face who feels like celebrating. Yet we have to make the most of something.

So, I help others and this is the only joy that I feel. The only way that I find some happiness and pleasure is by helping others and that joy is boundless. There is family and then friends and then my students. The list of people to be kind to, to show compassion to, to love, to care for. If only everyone made this their mantra

but alas.

I think John Lennon got it right with his song “Imagine”. If only we could have made that our reality. If only we could move into the New Year with those words engraved in some tablet of stone and make those words our guiding light.

You may say I'm a dreamer…

But I'm not the only one…

I hope someday

you'll join us…

And the world will live as one!

And maybe like John Lennon I am a dreamer but at least I am not destroying and wrecking and creating havoc with my hands and my words. I am dreaming of a better world.

In my musings I dont notice Ibrahim who has woken up from his nap and I can hear him playing with his toys in his room. The fact that my child feels safe and contented on his own is evidence of the fact that we as a family have created a bubble of peace for him and safety and security.

This is not the reality of every child on the planet, this isn't the life that every person enjoys; have you considered that ever?

And so, if you must make resolutions then at least look beyond yourself; at least notice the ones that are less fortunate than you are. Try personal growth in every direction; not just to benefit yourself. Be the person that makes the change in the right direction.

John Lennon imagined a world like that and he knew that he wasn't the only one. We all want peace and love and happiness for our families and we should wish and enable others to get that peace and love and happiness too.

I can hear my baby getting restless in the other room and I miss him too, I want to join him now so I guess I don’t have much more to say anymore except stay safe and blessed and keep us in your prayers.

And may this New Year be the best year of all our lives. Hopefully.