When I was twenty-two years old, I do remember that it was the time when I first got really interested with these three personalities. And I

fully remember that time as the turning point of my life.

Back then, I had this interesting conversation with my father, when I said to him,

“Dad, I have just recently felt that history is quite an interesting subject.”

“Of course, it is… I have always wanted you to take some interest in it. These days, I am really glad that I am seeing you reading such books.”

“Yes, they are very intriguing.”

“You purchased them recently?” he asked.

“Yes, just a few days back.”

He chuckled and then said,

“For the first time ever, perhaps, I am really happy for what you have purchased. My son, I’m really glad and I’m really proud of what you did.”

I smiled courteously.

“So, what is it that you really like about history?”

“The freedom fighters. Their stories. Their tales of bravery. I am really fond of these.”

“Oh yes, of course. They are the most intriguing aspects of history; one cannot deny that…”

“I know…”

“So, what exactly do you like about these people? And who are your favourite ones? Because there are too many.”

“Well, what I like about them are the traits of their personality. These people were very admirable, from every aspect.”

“So, whom do you like among all these? Except for Victor. Victor is someone exceptional, one cannot simply not admire him. I’m talking about others except him.”

I admired these words of my father so much that I really felt moved.

“Victor was the best,” I responded. “I think I just love that person.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t you. Who doesn’t like him? But I’m talking about other people that you like.”

“Well, there is this…”

“…You know what….” my father interrupted me suddenly. “Lets make it a conversation for some other day. You have recently purchased the books, and so I would like to give you some time. Read these books in detail, and then come and discuss these personalities with me.”

“Sure, why not?”

“It will be a very intellectual conversation.”

“I hope so…”

“Even I have some books. I will share these books with you as well and then we will have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m glad that we do,” I responded.

We had a little more conversation that gave me some hope. Afterwards, I left, thinking I would have a new kind of change in my life that I would really be fond of.

Remembering this interesting event of my life when I was simply sitting at the library of some public place, and there was a conflict of few members who were discussing history. Everything appeared to be normal and perfect initially and in the later amount of time things got quite severe. I wasn't reading history books at that moment rather I was doing my mathematics assignment which was a part of my university project. And I also remember that I was quite stressed and worried at that moment because I simply could not stay any longer with studies and simply wanted my upcoming exams to get over as soon as possible. All the while, I was doing my maths assignment and was using my calculator I heard argument of two different people. I didn't know either of them but I did was quiet depressed hearing what they were talking about and it made me understand what was their topic of argument and that was having respect for history. When I sat a little closer to them and tried to listen to their conversation I came to realise that one of them had accidentally dropped a book and the other one was simply asking him to keep the book respectfully back to its place. This was the point of argument that actually made them quarrel. I was not too interested in what was going on between them but what I did like was the one person who was respecting the history book and he got so emotional that he literally came to strangle the other guy and at that moment I wish that I had such confidence and such amount of respect for historical personalities who had made huge sacrifices for us.

Nobody likes to quarrel and obviously I would never favour what happened that day but what I did really like that was the motivation and spirit of that person who had for at some respect for the historical personalities and which should have been in the eyes of every other person. Even though, this was not quite a huge incident of my life I came to realise that it did move me to a huge extend that day.

Reading books had become an interesting hobby for me I used to read nearly all day long and I was simply lost in the world of history and I was enjoying those freedom fights of these brave Warriors in a way that one enjoys a movie. During different time intervals I used to see things changing in a way that I never really expected them to change in that particular way. I was seeing that my perspectives regarding life were changing and my approach of life was also changing because I was too inspired by these personalities that living.

A comfortable and peaceful life which I really preferred like everyone else was not really a part of my life anymore and I wanted to live a life of struggle and passion that involved thinking more about others and caring for others rather than being self-centered. The changes that had to be made were not quiet and easy amendments and I simply had to work through different perspective to bring improvements in the different departments of different versions of my life but right now studies were my only concerned and I work about to graduate and my exams were not quite tough that they would have scared me which was why I had concentrated my mind more towards the changes that would in the longer run of time be affiliated with the history of our state.

Someone once told me that the different changes of life should not be taken too seriously and the moments of history should be taken just as moments of fairy tale by then I did not like what he said but these days and I have been really upset about the history I have come to realise that this guy was absolutely correct and I should have simply accepted it back then and should never had taken history for seriously. But of course, all of this was an act of cowardice simply not willing to face the truth and accept it. Bravery and courage was what I actually needed and I had to had some strength in order to face all of these because turning pages and reading history is more than just a normal reading of improving your vocabulary and grammar rather it is something that influences your mind and changes your entire perspectives of thinking.

There were different kinds of phases in my life and those were obviously connected with different phases that everyone goes through I had relationships. I had breakup, I had experience different accidents and treasuries but what I had experience and what normally people do not experience was that my mind was literally influenced by history and I was moved to such an extent that I could even commit suicide because I was too afraid to face the truth. However, I get carried away with the passage of time and things improved and became really better. One of the reasons why I was so terrified was because that I might have some companions and friends who could have supported me but I was not literally using ever utilising those relationships that could have been supported me in the longer frame of time.

The multiple different phases that come and go in a person's life leave a dark influence in the minds of that person. These have to be looked upon through different changes that one would find in the darker period of their life to be as learning and growing experiences that eventually made that particular person strong and courageous enough to face the different pressures of life. In my case, however, it was quite different and I was not quite satisfied with these things that I was taught by some of my not exactly my ancestors but those who had saved their teachings and had considered looking ahead at the different kinds of changes that would in the longer frame of time be sorted out with the guidance of seniors. My life has always been easier and simpler and I have simply read and enjoyed books quite the way others have but in my case things seem to be really frustrating when I came to realise that I was only read in books and making use plans that could have otherwise destroyed my integrity. Yes, it is true it might be a little better and a little hard to hear but unfortunately it is very true and I cannot deny it no matter how hard I try and that's what I do I simply try and denying the truth but it keeps coming back to my face like a Boomerang.

Majority of the amendments that are made in your life are those ones that are caused by the serial shocking experiences that shake you and move you apart. You have to stay strong throughout this journey and you have to pull yourself together every time you come to realise that things are taking another time that you might not be able to afford otherwise but you might have to tell yourself repeatedly that you are a strong person and you have to fight the different challenges that are coming in your way and you have to keep on struggling no matter how Harsh the consequences of your past can become. I do not write diary nor had I ever been found but there were some of these tragedies in my life that forced me to write a diary and think about life quiet in differently and as I did started writing a diary I felt that I was feeling quite happy and over well as it was quite a therapy and an exercise that made me healthy enough.

I am not a man of strong values in fact I am a very predictable person who can easily be molded and folded by the different people who surround me. When people are trying to tease me they often label main to be a blank Slate I might get offended by these words but unfortunately and quiet realistically. I cannot disagree with them and I have to accept the fact that they are absolutely right and I am yes more of a blank slate that can easily be fooled and can easily come in the words of others and simply believe what he is being told and taught. But I must also understand and analyse that getting hurt is not quite enough and if your feelings are hurt it does not matter to everyone because your feelings matter just to you and maybe to your parents however the other people who are surrounding you are not always caring for you nor do they feel for you. There can be feelings of hurtfulness and extreme disappointment but you have to get over them with the passage of time and you can only get over them when you are at once in a day. In my case, when you are stuck between two different scenarios and you are moving like a pendulum clock then you simply wait for the time to pass and louder the alarm to rime over your head.

One day, I had this interesting conversation with a colleague of mine who asked me about what I know about the history of our freedom fighters. As I told him everything, he got silent. I then asked him,

“Do you agree with what I just told you?”

“Sure, with just content related to Victor.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry my friend but you know very less about McMahon. In fact, whatever you know about him is a fake and a very fabricated history.”

“How can you say that?” I asked getting a bit furious.

“You can disagree with me now, but you will believe me someday.”

to be continued...