Challenging Gender Norms in Pakistani Homes.
When I got married, the thought of handling household chores was something I had never imagined before. Cooking, cleaning, even changing a diaper – these were tasks I had never imagined myself doing. But everything changed the day my son was born. I remember it clearly: my baby was just two months old, and I was carefully changing his diaper when suddenly, a relative walked in. She looked at me in utter shock and said, “How can you, a man, be changing a baby’s diaper?”

That moment was like a wake-up call. I realised how deeply ingrained the belief was that men should stay away from what’s called “women’s work.” It wasn’t just a casual remark; it was a reflection of centuries-old traditions that still hold strong. I knew then that this mindset needed to change – not just for me, but for every family struggling with these outdated roles.

I later spoke to a close friend who recently moved to Australia. Despite living in a more open society, he told me he still can’t tell his mother back home in Pakistan that he cooks, changes diapers, and helps with chores. “Even thousands of miles away,” he said, “the old norms follow us, making it hard to break free.”

This story isn’t just mine – it’s a glimpse into the silent shifts happening in Pakistani homes today, where men are slowly but surely stepping into kitchens and sharing household responsibilities, challenging traditions one chore at a time.

The Weight of Tradition: Household Roles in Pakistan
In Pakistan, domestic chores have long been seen as the exclusive responsibility of women. The Pakistan Social and Living Standards Measurement (PSLM) Survey 2023 shows women spend an average of 7 hours per day on unpaid household tasks, compared to only 1.4 hours for men. This vast disparity reflects a deeply patriarchal society where cooking, cleaning, and childcare are “women’s work.”

The conservative rural heartland, where roughly 61% of Pakistan’s population lives (World Bank, 2024), is especially resistant to change. There, men’s involvement in household chores remains minimal, upheld by centuries-old cultural and religious beliefs.

Economic and Social Forces Stirring Change
But Pakistan is not static. Urbanisation and economic shifts are stirring change. By 2025, 40% of Pakistanis live in urban areas (UN Data), where exposure to diverse lifestyles and education levels are higher. Women’s workforce participation has increased to around 24% (Labour Force Survey, 2024), meaning many households now require men to step in at home.

According to a 2024 Gallup Pakistan survey, 35% of urban men under 35 now cook regularly—a rise from just 20% less than a decade ago. Social media has played a key role, with Pakistani male chefs and cooking vloggers making housework appear trendy and respectable.

Positive Ripple Effects on Families
Men’s involvement in domestic chores has tangible benefits. The UN Women Pakistan report, 2024, highlights that women in households with shared chores report 40% less stress and depression. Couples also report better communication and more equal partnerships.

Children raised in such households are more likely to adopt egalitarian views. Experts believe this could gradually reshape Pakistani society by breaking gender stereotypes from the ground up.

The Roadblocks: Stigma and Resistance
Despite progress, stigma persists. Men who cook or clean are often teased or seen as less masculine, especially in conservative families. Even Pakistanis living abroad, like my friend in Australia, face pressure not to admit these roles to their families back home. This highlights how deeply entrenched these norms are.

Moreover, there is limited public discourse or policy encouraging men’s participation in housework. Parenting and caregiving leave policies rarely support fathers, keeping traditional roles intact.

Moving Forward: What Needs to Change
Changing centuries-old gender norms requires a multi-pronged approach:

• Public Awareness Campaigns: Media and influencers should normalize men’s participation in cooking and chores.

• Education: Schools should teach gender equality and shared responsibilities.

• Policy Support: Family-friendly workplace policies and paternity leave could encourage men’s caregiving roles.

• Community Engagement: Religious and community leaders can help reshape cultural narratives around masculinity and domestic work.

My journey – from knowing nothing about house chores to actively caring for my child and supporting my wife – reflects a quiet but powerful shift in Pakistan. While tradition still casts a long shadow, a growing number of men, especially among younger, urban populations, are breaking stereotypes and sharing household responsibilities.

This change is more than just about chores – it’s about building stronger families, promoting gender equality, and embracing a more balanced society. The day when men helping at home is no longer surprising but expected is coming – and it can’t come soon enough.