I was so restless at the moment that I pushed my body with frustration and ended up falling from my bed.

While I was on the ground, with my face on the floor, I cried:

I am so screwed up. Everything is ruined. I wish I would lose my memory once again.

Either I slept or I fainted, but I blacked out.

Life teaches you different stuff, but when you lose your mind, you don’t remember the lessons of life. I was curious about my past but I was guilty about my present. Future was an unpredictable chapter.

I woke up after quite a long while and then looked at my messed up room. Sleep time is the best time. Every time I wake up, I end up regretting it.

Actually I want to sleep forever now. I also know that I can sleep if I can simply jump off the terrace of this building. Who knows, I might end up in hell.

Oh God I have nowhere to go.

As I sat up and stood up after a moment, I finally gave myself a nice piece of advice:

Go and surrender yourself to the police. That is the only way to reduce the burden of your conscience.

Several hours later, I was downstairs all by myself. I was spending the money I had earned mysteriously on the poor and was trying to forcefully prove myself that I am a better person. My potential to become a good person was not driving me to do this but the pressure of my guilt was.

While I was walking, I saw a police officer staring at me with utmost attention.

Oh dear God. I spoke as I realized that he had probably recognized me as a criminal.

The police officer reached for his hand gun.

I turned one eighty degrees so I could run.

I turned one eighty degrees so I could run. As I started running like a wild prey that runs away from its predator, I heard the police officer exclaiming:

“Hey stop! Stop right now!”

I ran as loosely as I could without concerning about whom I might crash. This reckless running was obviously dangerous but I was somewhat used to it.

All the while I was running I was telling myself that if I would stop for one second or if I would lower my speed, the cop would shoot me and I would die without finding out who I actually am.

So it turns out that I am still desperate to discover my identity. I don’t want to die unless I figure out who I actually am.

The cop was chasing me and I could hear him talk on his walkie talkie. I also heard two gunshots that he probably would have shot in the air. The public that was walking earlier had stopped and all of them were watching this chase.

I was a center of attention. I don’t know if I should be proud of it, but if I would be successful in escaping this police encounter, I would definitely see myself as a hero of some crime and action movie.

After several minutes of running, I finally got away and the cop lost me. I hid myself behind a wall of some bank’s building. I was taking huge breaths as I was too tired.

Oh thank God. I gasped. I must run home now.

I peeked at the road again to make sure no one was around. I was alone but I had noted one thing now.

The cops have recognized my face and I am one of the most wanted criminals of the state.

Several hours later, while I was still walking on the streets, I gave myself a little moral lecture:

You are feeling very guilty of your crime. This can get worse. The names Martha, Lisa and Roald can haunt you forever if you keep fleeing like this. You know what you must do. You should surrender yourself to the police and let the law of the state decide what the most suitable punishment for you is.

Then what is stopping me? Why am I not showing myself at the police station?

The answer is that I want to know who I am. Perhaps this is my last wish. I am willing to die, but not before figuring out who I am and most importantly what is my name.

I came across an interesting idea out of nowhere. The cops can help me find my identity. They have records and documents of every citizen. If they don’t have the records, they can simply guide me and get access to those who have.

I was very satisfied on this. The chase could be over now. I would clearly present myself to the police and after getting arrested I would tell them my condition. They would then work on finding my identity and before getting sentenced by the court, I would at least know my name.

Hurray! Wow! I uttered as I got excited.

Before I could walk ahead, a thought came to my mind:

What about the three innocent people I have killed.

Let the court decide what needs to be done. The answer came from my moral mind.

I heard the cell phone ringing. It was the phone that Luke gave me the other day. I answered the call from an unknown number:

“Hello?”

“It’s me Luke” Luke spoke from the other line, “where are you?”

“I’m around my location”

“Have you seen the news lately? Do you know what is being told?”

“What?”

“Your face has been identified”

“Oh God. Really?”

“Yes. And I didn’t know back then but I do know now. You were the one who blasted that house”

“It’s not like that”

“No tell me, was it you? Were you the one who planted a bomb inside that house?”

“Yes, it was me. But I was offered something I couldn’t refuse”

“Look Henry, I don’t want to stay in touch with you anymore. Just hand over my phone as soon as possible”

“I will” I answered sternly. “Come to my apartment and get it yourself”

I disconnected the call.

That day’s midnight, I was still walking on the streets downstairs as I knew I couldn’t. I was spending the mysterious money on drinks as I was watching and enjoying the night life of the city.

What on earth is this? I commented when I saw young teenagers and young adults performing stunts I had never seen before.

These youngsters were doing really dangerous stuff such standing on their two fingers or just elbows; and likewise standing with one feet on their bicycles.

I wish I could have spent more time of my life on this stuff rather than fleeing from the police.

While I was standing there and watching these teenagers, I felt some woman constantly looking at me. I turned my eyes and looked at her, and as I did, I realized that this woman was staring at me with suspicion. She then took out her cell phone as if to reconfirm something.

I understood that she had recognized my face after watching it on the news channel and was probably up to take some legal action. I couldn’t fight her or argue her which was why I simply moved backwards and escaped the crowd.

Of course I couldn’t keep this forever but I feel that I would get myself arrested only when I want to. You can guess how often that happens for youngsters of my age.

Later when I realized that it was 4 : 00 AM, I went back to my apartment and slept.

As I woke up after several hours, the first thought that came to my mind was about my desperate need to know who I am before I finally hand over myself to the police. In few words, my last wish is to find out what is my name.

After one hour of having bath and breakfast, my guilt of killing three innocent people started haunting me again. These three names Martha, Lisa and Roald were echoing around in my mind.

Will I ever or will I not get my identity? It depends on what I do. Mr. Kingston does not matter, I am not sure whether he would disclose my identity before me or not.

My cell phone started ringing again. I recognized Luke’s cell number but I did not answer the call.

My life is not getting easier. I instructed myself. The sooner I surrender myself, the better it would be for me.

The phone kept on ringing and it made me annoyed and fed up, so I answered it, the second time he called:

“Yes, what do you want?”

“Henry, you can be in great trouble. As a friend I’m suggesting you to hand yourself to the police”

“Look you are trying to be my friend. As a friend then I’m asking you, can you prove it to me through documents that my name is Henry Eckhart”

He was silent for a long while. I asked him:

“What happened? Where are you lost now?”

“Henry please, you are…”

“…Don’t call me Henry” I interrupted. “Either prove it first or don’t call me Henry at all”

“Why do you think that I am lying to you about your identity?”

“Prove me that I think wrong” I answered back. “Prove it to me through evidences that my assumptions about you guys are all wrong”

“Ok, how can I prove it?”

“Show me my identity card”

“I can’t I don’t have it”

“Yes, you can’t. You are a culprit yourself”

“What is wrong with you? Why are you insulting my honor?”

“Just go to hell”

Getting angry, I disconnected the call.

Twelve Hours Later

I was walking downstairs as I was hoping to see some teenage action which had quite some enthusiasm. I was wondering if I were not a part of all these terrorist activities then I would have made a great stunt boy out of myself.

These dreams are meant to shatter. I know that I personally do not want to surrender myself to the police but there is one plus point and that is that I shall discover my true identity once I will be under the custody of the police.

Quite unexpectedly, somebody kept his hand on my right side shoulder.

He was standing behind me and I didn’t know who he was. I was expecting him to be Luke but as I turned I saw a man standing in police uniform.

For a moment there, I was startled and horrified. The police officer pretended to be nice and calm,

“We are here to talk nicely with you” he said to me.