Need Retorts? - Some News Items

A new superhero, the ‘Valve Man’? A full tun minister, with the military guards trying to keep him from diving headlong in the mud! A female driver, with heart condition, abusing and threatening a traffic sergeant! There’s tons of news, literally in downpour, in this country!

But, even then, you might not be ready for this: Kubra Khan plays the mother of Hamza Ali Abbasi!

Want to beat that? Well, you can try: Faysal Quraishi playing a pedophile! Nah, Ahsan has already done that. So, what will you have? Ayyan Ali is raring to come back to Pakistan. What? Bringing some cash to Pakistan? For Ghardari? Naw! Not a chance!

Well, taste this! Saqib Malik is bringing Meera as Baji! Immediately after Maula Jutt 2 hits the screen, you have Baji in the docks. Can you believe Meera playing an elder of the house? Nayyar Sultana played a cultured single woman, who inspires Darpan in S. Suleiman’s Baji. But, of course, Meera must be playing a different character. There’s hope from Saqib Malik. He loves Pakistani cinema, and whatever he does, it would further the cause of our silver screen.

No, I think Kubra playing Hamza’s glitzy mom has to be the news of the month! After Hamza lost his facial hair in Parwaz Hai Junoon, you can imag… No, what am I saying? The beautiful glam girl of Jawani Phir Nahin Aani, Kubra could not be expected to pacify Hamza as a mom! In fact, I believe he will be inconsolable as her son. Kubra threw out handsome Zahid Ahmed from her flat in London, in Daldal; would she really stand an unstoppable Hamza? Your guess is as good as mine!

Well, the serial is called Alif, and includes artistes like Sajal Ali, Ahsan Khan and Noman Ejaz. The blonde mom of Hamza could be playing a young to old role, with an ex from her past. But, this is just conjecture. Kubra is younger to Hamza, and some heavy make-up can help her playing role. Well, Hamza should thank his star that they didn’t think of Sajal playing his mom! Sheesh!

Speaking of Sajal, she has really jumped to the aid of Ahad Reza Mir, who is getting severe criticism for attempting to sing iconic pop hit, Ko Ko Korina from Armaan. Hamdardi? Obviously, what more an artiste wants from his fellow star? As for his number alongside Mustehsin, I won’t be too harsh here, because he likes the song, and attempted to sing it. You remember how Rahat Fateh sank his ship, trying his hand at singing a Rock hit like Sayyoni from Junoon? I mean, Ahad just sang Ko Ko with a bad US accent, that’s all. They are behaving as if he kay-od Ko ko!

Ummm… Did he? Really?