What's Your Query?

For relationship advice and more, talk to your super-smart sis.

  • 21 Oct - 27 Oct, 2017
  • Mag The Weekly
  • Q & A

Q: Hello! I am 20 years old and got engaged four months ago. I recently got enrolled at a university and my fiance works full-time at a bank. Ever since I started university, he has been acting really possessive. He keeps asking me about the number of guys in the class and whether I talk to or have befriended any of them. One day, he suddenly arrived at the university to check on me while I was in the canteen with my classmates, which included guys too. He walked up to me and said that he had a meeting with the university’s accounts section and walked to the canteen to see if I was around. Later that night, he called me up and said he did not like the fact that I was sitting with guys in the canteen, even though I had assured that I was loyal towards him. From that day onwards, I feel like I should call off this engagement, because this guy has a filthy mind and is extremely suspicious towards me. Please tell me if that is the right thing to do. Sukaina

A: Hi Sukaina, you have a genuine concern. This guy is not just unjustly suspicious towards you but he has also been a creepy stalker. A stalker is a stalker, even if it’s your fiancé. I wouldn’t recommend that you instantly call of this engagement but would suggest you to share all of your concerns with your parents, for if they care about your future, they will take necessary measures to solve this issue. You give them all the details of your fiancé’s behaviour and tell them that if his behaviour remains the same, you don’t see this working in the future. Also, you have to complete your studies and if he is suspicious all the time, you wouldn’t be able to concentrate.

Couples should provide personal space to one another, which only helps strengthen their relationship, but if one is being so doubtful, there is no way for the relationship to sustain.

Q: Hi! For the past few weeks, things have been a little troublesome with my in-laws and the situation has stressed me a lot, which is why I decided to go to my parent’s house for a few days to relax myself and get back to normal. But over there, my mom had been waiting to share her own ordeals about her daughter-in-law’s impolite behaviour. She kept telling me how my sister-in-law is unfair with both my parents and is being really difficult lately. So far I did not share the issues I was going through with my mother, for she is already really fed up of her own problems. Now I don’t know if I should discuss my own problems with her or not, since she is already so disturbed and I don’t want her to get more tensed because of me. Qausar

A: Dear Qausar, I would suggest you solve your issues on your own for the time being, because like you mentioned, your mom is already stressed with her own tiff with her daughter-in-law and your concerns will only add to her already tensed life. As a daughter, you should be considerate about your mother’s ordeal and it is better that you solve your issues with the in-laws, as long as they are petty enough to be ignored. In fact, you should ask your mom to relax and help her reconcile with your sister-in-law, but without being too intrusive in their private lives, for you can only offer advice to resolve the matter. Go back to your home once you feel better and talk things out with your in-laws, as well.