The Morning Dew

Blog entry “Last few days of 2019.”
  • 04 Jan - 10 Jan, 2020
  • Ayesha Adil
  • Fiction

My blog really took off when I began to give it my time and attention. Having my in-laws with me helped me a lot. Ibrahim got to be with family other than Fawad and me. That meant so much. He was becoming so mature and so refined in his habits and behavior. Older people give such a strong sense of stability to a child and so much undiluted love and care. They show a child that there is more to life than running after a buck or making a living that each day is important because every day has something good to offer. They can see through the haze and confusion that envelopes the days of the young, full of distractions, deadlines and meeting demands and unreasonable expectations.

This gave me enough time and energy to focus on other things. I was even thinking of going back to work but let’s talk about that another day.

So today, right now, I want to talk about the New Year.

The Morning Dew: Blog entry “Last few days of 2019.”

This year went by so quickly. I still have some clothes out of the cupboard that need sorting out.

I’m joking. But I think you all get the picture and you can relate.

What I really want to talk about is the way we treat the New Year. For a long time in my life I took the New Year as a game changer. As if the New Year will automatically bring with it change and prosperity and so much more without any active participation of my own. I was young and naive and of course, tragically wrong. Even though the turn of any year signifies change and freshness and so much more, it won’t come automatically and

definitely it will need your active attention and participation.

If you’re feeling down and unhappy, only you can change that feeling. If it is people in your life that need to be cut off then cut them off, if that’s what you need to be happier.

Easier said than done? I agree.

What if “those people” are in-laws, a spouse, and maybe even a blood relation?

When I lost Noor I went for therapy for a short period of time. My doctor recommended it and since I was so shattered, I thought it would be a good idea. It didn’t help me much though. Not because therapy doesn’t work, of course it does, it helps in so many ways. It didn’t help me because I wasn’t ready to heal. I was clinging on to my grief. I had lost a child. I had every right to grieve and to be angry and hurt. I had lost my only child when she came to me after years of trying, years of hurt and disappointment. And then she was taken away from me.

So, even though I tried, I had to be ready to heal before I could heal. And when I was finally on the path to healing everything started to make so much sense. And everything fell into place.

Now, for the job at hand to remove and distance ourselves from people who are hurting us.

Shift your mind from the physical world to the abstract. I accept that there are relationships that we cannot disconnect from, but we can make things better by making an effort in the positive direction. We can also refuse to have an emotional response to everything that triggers us. You can begin to be more tolerant and accepting of them all in the journey to a happier you.

I’m surprised that when the social media talks about New Year Resolutions we are still stuck on cleaning homes and losing weight.

I think the new you is what we want to see. Is it a job that needs your attention? Or are you ready to go into a business for yourself and ditch that job that you hated anyways? And what about the things that you always wanted to do but couldn’t because the kids were too young and now they are older and you suddenly have more time on your hands?

Make a bucket list that you keep updating and fixing and tweaking, depending on when you’ve met certain goals and the new ones that are included.

Fixing yourself and the environment around you is a more tedious and painful process than fixing your cupboard and losing weight. So, even if it hurts and takes time you need to keep at it. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it and the new you will thank you for it.

And while you’re at it, fixing up the exterior won’t hurt either. Get a new look, a new haircut, a new wardrobe maybe. I always say, “Look good, feel good!”

But you also have to feel good to look good so hence fixing all the rough patches is important. Address your feelings and your misgivings and feel better in the process and if in the journey you need professional help then get it!

When you’re sick you see a doctor. Mental health is also your health and your well-being should matter. See a doctor for it.

Once I came out form my coma I decided that no matter what I will do I will not neglect myself and the people that matter to me. Their happiness is my main concern in life. But you can’t pour out of an empty cup. So, first work on yourself.

So, let’s make our New Year Resolutions with a twist.

I am including my list here

for you to find inspiration from.

Worry less and be happy more!

So, here it goes!

1. Cleanse your spirit by religion or spiritualism, what works for you. Pray or meditate.

2. Change your look! Get a haircut or dye your hair a bold red! Buy at least two new things for your wardrobe.

3. If it bothers you, do something about it. Even if it’s a close relative that’s in the picture. Mend bridges or burn them.

4. Being bold doesn’t always mean being loud. Being quiet is also a reaction and a powerful one. Use it wisely.

5. Get a physical checkup and deal with those aches and pains.

6. Learn at least two new things in the entire year.

7. Be more empathetic and helpful.

8. Help those who can’t help themselves. Be charitable.

9. Restore your passion in anything that gives you happiness and pleasure.

10. Find something joyful in the mundane, even if it’s washing dishes.

11. Put up motivational quotes to help get through the day. Paint them in bright, vibrant colours.

12. Buy that senseless thing, have that donut, share that meme if it gives you joy.

13. Most importantly respect nature and count your blessings.

14. Love everyone

around you even when they are difficult.

15. Find peace and hold onto it even in a crowd.

I hope we can all go into 2020 with fresh eyes and a fresh, positive mindset. 

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